Beautiful Treachery
by FallIntoTheGrey
Summary: Completely AU. The time: late 1800s. The place: Manhattan. What will happen when a woman with the last name of Grey moves to Manhattan right after Derek Sheperd's engagement to Addison Montgomery is announced and she steals his heart?MerDer with others
1. Chapter 1

**Hi! So, I'm new to , but certainly not new to fan fiction. This fic was inspired by the novel, _The Luxe_, by Anna Godbersen and Iam really excited about it. I've been working on it for awhile, so I will be able to update often, but I want to see if there is anyone interested. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters. Those are Shonda's.**

**Please, enjoy and review. Constructive criticism ****is welcome.**

Chapter 1

Music swelled up to the ceiling of the adorned ballroom, sweeping the dancers' feet up with it. Women in yards of silk and tulle and men in their tails spun in an elegant waltz, as several people without partners stood off to the side or sat in the open drawing room connected to the ballroom. The debonair Derek Sheperd was one of those standing of to the side, surveying his father's immaculate ballroom, amazed at how large of a party his mother could pull off. His eyes rested on a young Addison Montgomery, his soon-to-be-announced fiancé. He heaved a sigh, as he watched her laughing with her friends, her emerald green dress making her skin look ivory, it's dangerously low neckline making every man in the room salivate. Except for Derek. He thought it made her look cheap, even though he knew it cost her father thousands of dollars. To him, she looked like one of the whores in the cheap bars on the South Side, with her breasts almost popping out of her dress and way she was swinging her hips. Addison flipped her ginger hair and caught his eye, a slight smile toying at her lips. He grimaced towards her and looked away, disgusted at how his future was going to end up. He wanted so much more, but this was what he was stuck with; taking over his father's company and marrying a woman that he would never grow to love. He heaved another large sigh.

"I think you need another glass of champagne, my good sir. You look far too proper," Mark, Derek's best friend said as he came up behind him. Derek turned and smiled at him.

"Mark, you know this is not the night for me to be getting drunk, what with my marriage proposal being announced," he said, his voice dripping in sarcasm.

"I would say that this is the best night for you to be drunk. It'll make the thought of being tied down easier to swallow."

Derek turned back and looked at Addison. "Do you think I'll be happy with her?" he asked, forlornly.

"I can't answer that, but I do know your wedding night will at least be fun."

"I'm not even going to ask," Derek replied as he looked at Mark, slightly disgusted. Addison was one of those whores. He looked towards the stairs at the entrance of the ballroom and drew a sharp breath. His eyes soaked in the most angelic sight he had ever seen. A woman, dressed in a royal blue satin and lace gown that hugged every single wonderful curve she had. Her soft, golden locks flowed down her back and seemed to glow in the light, creating a halo around her beautiful face. Her sea green eyes pierced deep into Derek's soul, as he imagined her plump, yet delicate lips crashing onto his. His eyes grew dark, as he imagined much worse, yet much more beautiful things that he would do to her, if he ever got the chance. And he would make sure he got the chance. He watched her walk through the room, mingling with the guests and being the picture of perfection.

"What's wrong with you, old boy?" Mark asked as he waved a hand in front of Derek's eyes. Derek shook his head, attempting to clear his head.

"Nothing. Nothing at all. Who is she?" he asked as he gestured towards the unknown woman he desired so.

"Meredith Grey. Her father ran a large bank in Boston and just moved here, taking over the largest bank in Manhattan."

"Beautiful," Derek muttered under his breath.

"Well, you can always have a mistress on the side," Mark said, causing Derek to jump.

"No, I could never do that. I will not cheat on my wife… no matter how much I want to," Derek said, the last part under his breath.

"You still have a year until you're actually married. You might as well have fun while you can." Derek didn't hear this; he was already making his way across the ballroom to the goddess that was making his heart flutter. It seemed to him that the crowd parted as they locked eyes. 

She blushed slightly and broke the gaze, turning back to the girl she was talking to. Derek was merely steps away from talking to the first woman he had ever potentially loved, even though he had never even spoken to her, when he felt a strong hand clasp around his upper arm and steer him away. He looked over to see his father, his worn face set with harsh determination. No one could stop him from fulfilling the task that was on his mind.

"It's time. We must announce your engagement, before this night gets anymore out of hand."

"What could possibly be amiss? This party is perfect," Derek said, trying as hard as he could to postpone the announcement. At least until he could dance with her.

"There has been talk of Addison's father calling off the engagement if it's not made public now. And that means losing the opportunity to partner with him."

"So this engagement is just a business expansion, a chance for you to make even more money?" Derek asked, his voice gruff.

"That money pays for everything you do. Until you figure out what you want to do with your sorry life, you want me to make more money." Derek sunk into silence upon hearing this. He had attended Harvard and was fully prepared to take over his father's business in the stock market, but he was currently taking some time to live, before he got tied down. The possibility of his father disinheriting him always loomed over his head and he was frequently reminded of this. His father dragged him up to the platform the orchestra was on and slapped a fake smile on his face.

"Ladies and gentlemen, this night is indeed a very special one. I thank you all for coming and would now like to make a very important announcement. A few days ago, my wonderful son, Derek, came to me, a lightness in his step. He looked me square in the eye and told me he was in love and had taken the liberty of asking Miss Addison Montgomery to marry him…" The crowd hung on his words, wanting to know her answer. Derek fidgeted next to his father, trying 

to keep a pleased look on his face, continue with his father's masquerade. William Sheperd raised his arms, as if to shout this tall tale to the world, "And he told me, 'Father, she said yes!'" The crowd cheered and applauded, as if pretending to be excited to make sure that William would not sabotage their stocks, as he had been known to do. He clapped his son on the back and they got down off of the platform. Addison started moving towards Derek, planning to perform some public display of affection that she knew would be all over the papers in the morning, but he quickly walked in the other direction. He walked out into the empty foyer and ran his hands through his dark, curly hair, his frustrations getting the better of him. He heard footsteps behind him and thought they were Mark, coming to find his disturbed friend.

"I need that glass of champagne now," he said, his voice rough with pent up emotion.

"You can have mine," replied a sweet, almost melodious voice. Derek turned quickly to find Meredith standing in front of him, her arm outstretched, handing the champagne to him. "You look like you could use it." Derek reached out and took the flute, his fingers lightly grazing hers. Shock waves went up and down his arms as he pulled back, so sharply that it caused a giggle to erupt from that small frame. His head felt light as he listened to that perfect sound, that sound that instantly put his mind at ease. It was almost if everything would be alright, as long as he could hear that laugh, that voice as much as possible. She lifted a delicate hand to her mouth as Derek stared at her, imagining that hand pressed against his chest.

"I'm sorry. That was inappropriate of me."

"We are standing in the middle of an empty foyer where I just almost completely broke down in front of you. This isn't a place for appropriateness.

"I won't tell anyone if you won't," she teased.

"Your secret is safe with me."

"As is yours with me." A beautiful smile spread over her lips and lit her eyes and Derek felt his head become light. He had never felt like this before, with anyone. She was perfect, yet she was real. Proper, yet adventurous. Quiet, yet outspoken. She was tempting and endearing and Derek had never felt desire stronger then in that moment. He had wanted nothing more in his life than to spend time with her, but that opportunity had been ripped out of his hand with his father's announcement. He silently cursed his father and his own fate, as he continued to stare at her. She soon grew uncomfortable and turned to leave.

"Wait," Derek called out after her. She turned back to look at him and he felt another blow to his heart, as her eyes looked deep into his. He walked up next to her and asked, "Will you dance with me?"

"It would be my pleasure," she replied, offering him her arm. He gratefully took it and led her onto the ballroom floor. She placed her hand on his shoulder and his went to her waist, as the music of a flowing, floating waltz began and they spun gently around the ballroom.

"Do you like it here in Manhattan?" Derek asked, trying to make small talk.

"It's much different from Boston," she replied, purposely holding back. He intrigued her.

"How so?" he asked, refusing to relent in his questioning. What she didn't know was that she intrigued him just as much as he, her.

"It's a lot more peaceful in Boston. It seems like here, everyone is set on going fast to nowhere in particular." Derek laughed at her wit. She may have intrigued him even more.

"Sure, there are people like that in Boston, but here it is everyone, even the children and poor who have no reason to hurry in the first place. And no one seems to have anything better to do than try and get involved in the lives of the elite of society. I've only been here for 

two weeks and, already, I've seen my name in the papers upwards of twenty time, all of it gossip that is so far from the truth, it's laughable."

"Yes, the middle and lower class always take pleasure seeing how their superiors have acted stupidly now."

"I never said 'superiors.' I just said the elite of society. There is a large difference. There are many in our "class" that belong in the middle and lower classes, but it's only because of their family name that they remain in power. The hierarchy of this city is remarkable and repulsing. Yes, there are lines that separate the well off from the not so well off, but to be put at such extremes, like in this city, is something that I have never seen before and will never grow to understand or except." Derek danced in silence, unable to come up with a counter remark. His admiration of her grew, as she displayed an independence that most women would never dream of showing. She was learned and she knew how to use that knowledge to her advantage. Derek wouldn't be surprised if she had left many men in a silent stupor, just like him.

"I'm sorry. Was I too bold?" she asked timidly after he didn't reply for some time.

"No, not at all. I'm just amazed. Most women would just agree with what the man says and continue on to another subject. You actually defended what you were saying."

"My mother always said my independence would be my downfall," she said with a laugh.

"But it could also be your pedestal," he replied, as he spun her under his arm.

"I suppose," she replied as she spun back into his chest. She shifted her eyes, obviously uneasy.

"Now it's my turn to ask if I was too bold," he quickly said, trying to salvage their conversation.

"I've just never met a man that treated me as an equal. I'm always reprimanded for my comments."

"I think your comments are endearing. You're so different than every other woman I've ever met." He paused and looked into her lovely face, enjoying the feeling of being so close to her. "Have you made any new friends since you arrived?"

"Well, the two women over there talking with your personal champagne server," she said as she gestured over to Mark, Addison, and Isobel Stevens, "have been very kind to me, but no one can ever replace my dear Ann."

"Was she a friend of yours in Boston?" Derek asked, curiosity written across his handsome face.

"She was my sister. She and my mother were killed in a carriage accident six months ago."

"Oh, I am so sorry," he responded, as he watched pain darken her eyes.

"That was a factor in my father's decision to move here. It was torture for him to stay in that house. He has been impossible to deal with ever since."

"Well, it you ever need a break from him, I am always available. At any time." With this last comment, his eyes grew very dark, as he gripped her waist even harder.

"I think that is a risqué comment coming from a betrothed man," she retorted, swiftly shutting Derek up.

"I…" Derek stammered, unable to counter her comment. Meredith quickly pulled out of his grasp and glared at him.

"Mr. Sheperd, I am not the type of woman to let an egotistical man like yourself ruin my reputation. You will do well to watch your mouth, before someone hears something you don't want them to." She quickly spun on her heel and walked out of the room, leaving Derek staring after her, kicking himself for making such a crass comment.

Meredith sighed as she stepped into her bedroom and threw her warp onto her bed. Her maid, Christina Yang, a Korean immigrant, soon entered and helped remove her dress and undo her stifling corset. She then went over to the wardrobe and brought out her nightgown. After Meredith pulled it over her head, she sat down at her vanity and Christina removed the pins in her hair and brushed through it. She wound the golden strands into a tight braid, her fingers moving with agility and speed. After she finished, she pulled an elegantly folded note out of her apron pocket.

"This arrived for you a few moments before you got in," she said as he handed it to Meredith.

"Thank you, Christina," she smiled at her, as she carefully unfolded the note. She quickly read it over and lifted her hand to her heart, as she felt it rattle against her rib cage.

"Are you alright, Miss?" Christina asked timidly.

"Yes, I'm fine, Christina. And how many times do I have to tell you to call me Meredith. I can't stand to have you call me Miss when I am no better than you."

"Yes, Miss… I mean, Meredith. Is there anything I can get for you before you go to bed?" Christina asked, relaxing quite a bit.

"No, that will be all, Christina. Thank you." Christina silently stepped out, as Meredith slipped under her duvet and held the note above her, rereading it over and over, burning it into her memory. She placed it onto her bedside table and settled back into her pillows, staring up at the ceiling. Thoughts of that man flooded her mind, no matter how much she didn't want them to. He was arrogant and so sure of himself, but he was kind and so, so beautiful. And she wanted him as much as he wanted her. She leaned over and blew out her candle; her gentle breath carrying the letter off of the table. It fluttered to the floor and the elegant scrawl shown in the final flickering light.

Meredith,

Please forgive me for my insensitive comment tonight. It was incredibly rude of me and caused me unrest for the remainder of the night. I hope to see you and all of your beauty in the near future.

DS


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Gentle beams of sunlight lit the small drawing room with a warm, comforting glow. Meredith glided in, with Christina following close behind, carrying an overflowing tray filled with all of the elements of afternoon tea. She placed it on the coffee table in front of the over-stuffed arm chairs and quickly prepared tea for Thatcher, Meredith's withdrawn and silent father. She set it in front of him and withdrew hastily, not wanting to incur his fury. He did not even glance up over his paper at Christina or his own daughter, to whom he had not spoken to since two days before. Meredith sunk into one of the armchairs and gracefully tucked her legs up under herself, cracking open her new book of poetry. The sunlight warmed her back, as she sunk into her comfort zone. As she read, she silently prayed that they would receive no visitors during these Sunday calling hours. She wished that she could just remain in that cozy room for the rest of the afternoon, in the silence that now was her relationship with her father. He had become so introverted ever since the death of her mother and sister and when he did finally speak, it was usually to yell at one of the maids, or the chef, or the coachman, or Meredith herself on rare occasions. He would read his paper and handle his business during the day and drink himself into oblivion at night. Many a night, Meredith, with the help of a few maids and the coachman, had to pull him off of the leather couch in his study and up to his room. Meredith stole a quick glance over to him and instantly regretted it. He looked so tired and worn. He was not the lively father that used to take his daughters on picnics and fishing on their boat. A pang shot through her heart, as she remembered these special moments. They had always been full of smiles and laughter. Now all she had were tears and silence. She retreated back to her book, hoping it's sonnets that spoke of love and lust and happiness would warm her desolate heart.

"Miss, Derek Sheperd is calling," Christina came in a few moments later. Her head quickly shot up, her heart pounding so hard, she could hear the thudding of her pulse in her ears. She had gotten hardly any sleep the night before, her mind racing all night with thoughts of that man. Every time she thought of him, her skin crawled with desire. She had never felt this way before and the horrible thing was he had a fiancé. She didn't want to be seen as the tramp that ruined a marriage, but if he kept pushing her like he did last night, that would soon be her title. She stood, straightened her deep red, high-waisted skirt and adjusted her ruffled blouse.

"I will meet him out in the foyer, if you don't mind, Christina."

"Yes, Mi… Meredith." Meredith walked out of the room and down the long hallway, stopping to fix her hair in the mirror she passed.

"What are you doing? He is no reason to be panicking," she silently reprimanded herself. She set off down the hallway once again and entered into the foyer, her stance oozing independence and power. Derek was instantly snapped out of his daydreams and he had to consciously remind himself to not let his jaw hang open. She was even more beautiful this morning then she had been the night before. Here, she looked natural and relaxed, with sparse makeup on and her hair pulled back in a sleek bun.

"Mr. Sheperd, to what do I owe this delightful visit?" Meredith inquired, as she stepped up to him. She stared into his eyes and squared her shoulders, making it clear that she would not stand for any questionable comments or actions from him.

"I just wanted to make sure there were no hard feelings between us after the incredibly rude slip of my tongue last night," he said, his eyes searching hers, making her feel even more uncomfortable. But she refused to show it. She would not look weak.

"Well, your note was well received and, while I loathe what you said, I have forgiven you."

"Thank you, Miss Grey. I was also wondering if you would join me in a carriage ride through Central Park," Derek asked, his signature smile lighting his face. Meredith just barely resisted the urge to go weak at the knees and fall into his arms. Her armor was rapidly deteriorating.

"I would love to," Meredith said as she returned his smile. She was going to make this just as hard for him as he was making it for her. "Christina, will you please get me my light cloak and my hat. It appears that it will be a fairly sunny day." Christina scurried off to the coat room and returned moments later.

"Here you are, Meredith," Christina said as she handed Meredith the items.

"You let your help call you by your first name?" Derek inquired.

"Yes, I do. They are no less of a human being than me, so I have no right to treat them horribly. And Christina has been the closest thing I've had to a friend since Ann died," Meredith responded, as she placed her cloak over her shoulders and tied her hat on. She offered him her arm and they walked out the front door. They walked down the walkway to the carriage and Derek helped her up into the open carriage, his hand resting on the small of her back. She startled slightly at his touch and he withdrew, momentarily, but then rested his hand back on her waist. She settled into the plush seat, as he took his place next to her. He called up to the driver and the carriage lurched forward. Meredith felt herself sliding dangerously close to the edge of the seat and had to clutch onto Derek's arm to keep herself from falling. Fear lit her eyes and her skin grew ghostly pale.

"Easy, driver. Meredith, are you alright?" he questioned, his face drawn with concern.

"Stop the carriage," she breathed, her voice quavering. Derek swiftly complied.

"What's the matter?" he asked, alarmed by her reaction.

"I… I can't ride in this carriage. I can't ride in an open carriage."

"What's the problem?"

"That is how my mother and sister died. The driver took a sharp turn and they fell, into oncoming traffic," she whispered, as tears threatened to spill from her eyes. Derek, unsure of how exactly he should comfort her without seeming too forward, cautiously placed his arm around her quivering shoulders. She leaned into his chest, as the tears started to fall. He held her in this awkward embrace for a few moments, until the tears subsided. She straightened up, wiped away the remaining tears, and looked over at him, obviously embarrassed. "I'm so sorry. That was incredibly improper of me. I should not have brought that upon you."

"Meredith, it's perfectly alright. If you were uncomfortable, why didn't you tell me?" Derek asked, as he gently stroked her hand.

"I don't know. I thought I would be alright, but I guess I'm still not over my fear."

"Well, if you don't mind, could we possibly continue this outing on foot?"

"That would be fine with me," Meredith said. Derek got down from the carriage first and then offered his assistance to Meredith. Her heels clattered onto the cobblestones, as she grasped his hand and stepped lightly down. Derek then ordered the driver to return to Meredith's house and they set out into the park. The sun's rays shone through the trees and birds chirped happily, telling everyone that spring was certainly on its way. Meredith pulled her cloak tighter to her, as the remaining winter winds danced their last waltz. They walked in silence for several minutes, until Meredith spoke up.

"So, I've revealed more to you about myself then I did to some of my closest friends in Boston. Now, it's your turn."

"I," Derek started, "have three older sisters who have all married and either have children or are expecting. My mother is the perfect, little housewife, but I couldn't ask for a better mother. And my father is a controlling tyrant who wants to run every aspect of my life and makes sure he can by continuously threatening to disinherit me."

"And your fiancé?"

"I don't love her in the slightest. The marriage is only ensuring a partnership between my father and hers."

"You don't think you could grow to love her?" Meredith asked, as she turned her head to look at Derek.

"Never."

"And why not?"

"She's just so… fake. She is one of those people that wants every stupid thing she's done put in the paper, just so she can get some attention. I want to be married to someone with a little more substance, who cares about more than the latest fashion trends and gossip. What of you? Have you ever loved?"

"I can't say I have. I've had the childhood sweethearts that everyone has, but nothing was more than two children sneaking around the kitchen to get sweets and romping about in the mud, holding hands."

"I am sure you will find the right man that will sweep you off of your feet someday," Derek reassured her, attempting to place a smile on his face, which appeared to be more of a grimace.

"I've already found him," Meredith thought to herself, as she walked next to Derek, trying to match his long stride. His glistening blue eyes had kept her heart fluttering the whole walk and all she could think of was his arm around her shoulders and her face pressed against his strong, muscular chest. She felt so safe in his arms, safer than she had ever felt before. She was falling for him and, unfortunately, she was falling hard.

"Would you like to go down near the pond?" Derek asked, gesturing towards the inviting water.

"That would be fine," Meredith answered. They turned off of the path, their shoes sinking into the soft soil. They reached the water's edge and gazed across the glass-like water. It was only disturbed by a landing swan.

"Oh, it's so beautiful," Meredith exclaimed, as she watched the majestic bird.

"Yes, you are," Derek thought to himself, as he looked at the majestic woman next to him. He was falling for her just as hard.

After standing there in silence for several minutes, Meredith said, "I think it's time we should be heading back. My father will be expecting me back soon."

"Alright, let's be on our way," Derek replied, as he offered her his arm once again. They walked out of the park and down the sidewalk, until they reached Meredith's mansion once again. They walked up to the door and entered back into the foyer.

"I thank you, Mr. Sheperd, for this delightful outing. It has been very… enlightening," Meredith said, as she removed her hat and cloak and handed them to Christina.

"I assure you again, Miss Grey, that the pleasure was all mine." His voice dropped, as he leaned in closer to her. "I hope you have a cushion under you, because you are currently being swept off of your feet," he whispered, as he felt her breath grow shallow against his neck. "If you let me, we can be swept away together."

Before either knew what was happening, his lips crashed onto hers. As quick as it happened, it was over, but both felt the aftershocks that raced through their bodies. He nodded towards her, saying, "Good day, Miss Grey," and dismissed himself soon after. But Meredith didn't hear him or notice his exit. The room, the whole world had melted away the second their lips met, as the most wondrous sensation descended over her body. His sweet and musky smell filled her nostrils and fueled the fire that was her love for him. In her head, she replayed the events of the afternoon, as she touched her delicate fingers to her lips. This was it, this was him. She was being swept off of her feet and she wanted nothing more in the world than to be swept any with him. She wanted to love recklessly and live without fear and she was going to, with him.


	3. Chapter 3

**So, I wanted to update again today, based on all of the feedback I've been getting, so here's Chapter 3. Some of you may become frustrated with Meredith in this chapter and you should know that she frustrates me, too. She is an extremely hard character to write because my feelings are always fighting me when I write about her. I want her to be reckless and love Derek, but the goody two shoes side of me always fights her just giving in to him and risking everything. But enough of my ramblings. **

**Disclaimer: I don't not own these characters. Shonda does.**

**Please, enjoy and review. Constructive criticism is welcome and needed!**

Chapter 3

Derek laid on the leather couch in his study, his arm over his face. Images of her swam in front of his eyes, as heat radiated from the place her delicate lips had caressed only hours before. Guilt washed over him, as the thought of Addison interrupted his delightful fantasies. He couldn't do this. He couldn't go about kissing Meredith and then watching her crash into the depths of the outcasts of society, just so he could satisfy his desires. He felt sick at the thought of marrying Addison, but he knew he had no choice. He hated the thought of going about his days, loving Meredith and watching her marry someone else and living a perfectly happy life, while he stood to the side, secretly loving and loathing her. He just couldn't do that. He stood up and refilled his glass of scotch, taking a generous swig of it. If he couldn't rid his heart of the problems that tormented it, he could at least numb it for a little while. He lay back down and stared at the ceiling, wishing things could be different, when the door swung open and slammed into the wall behind. The intimidating shadow of his father fell upon him and he squinted, his eyes unaccustomed to the bright light behind him. He strode in and towered over Derek, his face contorted with rage. He flung a paper at Derek, with more force then was needed. Derek picked it up, unfolded it and read the article that had his father in such a frenzy.

_Last night, at the impressive ball put on by the Sheperd family, the announcement was made that the incredibly hansom and oh so eligible Derek Sheperd is due to marry the beautiful and not so innocent Addison Montgomery. But instead of the normal flirtation that occurs between most newly engaged couples, Mr. Sheperd was seen dancing most of the night with new-comer to the city, Meredith Grey. There may be trouble ahead for this wonder couple._

After Derek finished reading, he looked up at his father, confused as to what the actual problem was.

"Don't look at me like you have no idea how this make us look, you sorry excuse for a man! On the night your engagement is announced, you're seen getting cozy with this Meredith Grey person. Now, the whole city thinks you will be having some sort of an affair. And, what doesn't help kill these suspicions is the fact that you were seen embracing this woman this afternoon, in the middle of Central Park! Are you mad? Do you want this wedding called off?"

"More than you will ever know," Derek thought to himself, as his stomach sank more with every word his father said.

"Because Addison's father is threatening to call off the engagement once again. Is that what you want?"

"No, Father, that's not what I want. I was just welcoming Miss Grey to the city," Derek said as he stood up to face his father, eye to eye.

"And embracing her in the middle of Central Park is your idea of welcoming her?" William screamed.

"No, she was scared. She almost fell from the carriage. What was I going to do, just let her sit there petrified?"

"You shouldn't have been with her in the first place!"

"Father, I was just being friendly. She has no one here. Her mother and sister were killed in Boston and her father has been absent ever since."

"So, you felt it was your job to fill that absence," William snapped.

"No, I felt it was my job to offer some amount to kindness towards her," Derek hissed back.

"Enough! I don't want to hear anymore of your excuses! I forbid you from seeing Meredith Grey!"

"You can't do that!" Derek roared, his face growing red.

"If you want a roof over your head and food to eat, yes, I can," William replied, an evil smirk crossing his face, as the satisfaction of victory fell over him. Derek threw his glass into the roaring fire, grabbed his coat and stormed out of the room. William followed him out into the hall.

"And just where do you plan on going now?" he called after him.

"I don't know. I just need to get out of this house, clear my head," he yelled back over his shoulder.

"If you step out that door, I swear, you will not have a home to come back to when you return."

"I'll take my chances," Derek said as he walked out the door and slammed it behind him, leaving a fuming William behind. Derek walked through the unfeeling streets, his footsteps echoing off of the surrounding buildings. Rage ripped through him like a hundred bullets. He was tired of his father dictating his every move. He was a grown man; he had the right to control his own life. But he knew that if he wanted to have a job in the future, he needed to stay in his father's good favor. He clenched and unclenched his fists, wishing he had something he could throw, something to break. He wished he could follow what his heart was telling him, but knew that that was impossible. He had to live by what was proper and right, not by what he wanted. But images of Meredith soon entered his head and he didn't care whether or not he was proper. He wanted to spend time with her; he wanted to spend as much time as he possibly could with her, before he was tied down in a loveless marriage. He continued to walk through the dimly lit streets, until he came upon the Grey residence. He knew he shouldn't, but in that moment, he wanted nothing more than to climb up to Meredith's room and just hold her, both of them hoping that the world would come to a screeching halt and they could stay like that forever. He walked up to the gate and tried to open it with the least amount noise. A loud squeak pierced the night air, making Derek flinch. He saw a light brighten up the foyer and he ran down the sidewalk to the next residence and ducked down. A maid stuck her head out the door and looked around for a few moments. Once satisfied, she retreated and the light was extinguished soon after. Derek tiptoed back and slide around the gate. Remaining crouched over, he snuck along the side of the house, until he reached the trellis leaning next to Meredith's room. He looked up, realizing how crazy he really was, crazy for her. He grasped the trellis and started climbing, trying to not get his coat caught. He finally reached the balcony, swung himself up and tapped on the window. After standing there for several minutes, receiving no answer, he pressed on the window and found it unlatched. It swung open and he stepped gingerly inside. He looked around the plain room, but Meredith was nowhere to be found. He turned, as if to leave, but then decided to go find her. He needed to find her. He opened the door and skulked down the hallway, trying as hard as he could to avoid any creaking floor boards. He finally reached a door at the end of the hallway that was slightly ajar and he silently opened it. Meredith stood at the window, the moonlight toying at her hair, her sparsely dressed form bent over an elaborate telescope. He crept up behind her and snaked his arms around her waist. She gasped and swiftly spun around, her arms raised in a defensive position. Derek backed off.

"Whoa there. Don't hit me," he said cautiously.

"What are you doing here?" Meredith hissed, fury darkening her eyes.

"I wanted to see you," Derek replied, as he looked at her in her slightly transparent nightgown. Noticing his gaze, she crossed her arms over her chest.

"Well, I don't want to see you. I don't want you in my house in the middle of the night."

"What are you doing in here anyways?" Derek asked, as he looked around the room and realized it was a study, her father's study.

"I sneak in here on clear nights to use the telescope. My father doesn't approve of my schooling and forbids me to come in here, to get books or use the telescope… And why am I telling you this? Argh," she groaned, "What is wrong with me? You turn me into this blubbering idiot. It's like my head tells me to say one thing and then my mouth says something completely different, something completely ridiculous."

"You ramble."

"You sneak into my house and that's all you can say, 'you ramble.' I should wake up my father and have him call the police. You're trespassing."

"You don't really want to do that, do you?" Derek said, as he walked closer to Meredith.

"Yes, yes I believe I do," Meredith said, backing up until she was pressed against the wall.

"No, you don't," Derek stopped just inches from Meredith, his voice husky and his eyes a dark, stormy blue. He placed his hands on the wall on either side of Meredith and she squirmed under his gaze. Color rose to her checks, as her heart began to pound like an erratic drum. Derek stood there, gazing at her, breathing in her scent. It was some sort of flower, but what, he could not tell. Meredith ducked under his arm before he could stop her and crossed the room. But before she could take more than four steps, he grabbed her upper arms and pulled her back into him.

"Why must you torment me?" Derek breathed into her neck, sending shivers down her spine. She attempted to turn around, but he would not allow it. He placed his hands on her delicate abdomen. She pulled as hard as she could against him and he finally relented. She practically ran behind her father's desk, trying to keep some type of barrier between them.

"Please," she pleaded, "we can't do this. We can't do this and expect that we will both be able to pull back unscathed. Please!"

"Meredith, I don't care. I want to live the way my heart is telling me for once in my life, before I can't anymore. And right now, my heart is telling me that there is nothing more in the world that I want to do than be with you and love you with all of my heart."

"But Derek, if we do this, I'm the one that loses. I'm the one that falls for a man and then watches him get married to someone else. I'm the one that wonders what life would have been like if he hadn't had to get married. I'm the one that ends up alone and alienated from society. Please, don't ask me to do that. It is already hard enough right now, knowing that you will never be truly mine."

"Meredith, don't you want to live recklessly? Don't you want to live for love? Don't you want to satisfy those desires that leave you lying awake at night?" Meredith looked down at the floor with his last question, blood rushing to her checks. "Because I know I do and, if you'll let me, I want to do all of those things with… you." Derek wrung his hands and looked into Meredith's eyes, all of his raw emotions visible in them. Meredith stood staring at him for several moments, until she started to cautiously walk around the desk and up to Derek. She gently placed her hand on his chest, causing its rise and fall to become erratic.

"Yes, I do," she said quietly, as she lifted up on her tiptoes and placed a soft kiss on his lips. She pulled back slightly, so that their lips were just barely touching. "I want this," she breathed. Her lips then crashed onto his, their pent-up passion rushing out like a broken dam. He forced his tongue into her mouth, as she did the same to him, and they danced together. Derek then pulled back and attacked her neck, causing soft moans to spill from her body. He bit gently down on her earlobe, causing an even louder moan. She lifted her hands up and tangled her fingers in his hair, as his hands ran up and down her delicate curves. He then lifted her up and carried her over to the window seat. He laid her down gently and then pulled back. She gazed up at him and bit her lower lip, the picture of innocence.

"I can't do this to you," Derek whispered, as he straightened up and ran a hand through his dark hair. Meredith sat up, her eyes questioning him. "I can't ruin you."

"What happened? You certainly wanted this a few moments ago," she asked, a puzzled look on her face.

"I looked at you, really looked at you, and you looked so innocent. I don't want to ruin you."

"You won't. If anyone is going to ruin me, it's going to be me because I want this just as much as you do," Meredith said, as she grabbed hold of his jacket and pulled him down next to her. She leaned in and kissed his neck, as his hands found their way under her night gown and onto her thigh. His fingers traced patterns on her legs, causing thousands of goose bumps to rise. Their lips then met once again in a passionate kiss. Only when both of their air supplies were completely depleted did they finally pull apart.

"So, what were you looking at with your telescope?" Derek asked, breathless.

"The stars. They are very bright tonight."

"Will you show me?" Derek asked, a playful look in his eyes.

"Only if you promise to be good," Meredith teased, as she pecked him quickly on the lips.

"Of course I will," Derek said, as he lifted her up in his arms and spun her around, causing his favorite sound, her giggle, to resonate through the room. He set her back down at the telescope and she leaned down to readjust it. He placed his hands on her waist, startling her and causing her to knock the telescope completely off of its tripod. Meredith turned and hit Derek on the chest.

"Now look what you made me do! First, you make me talk like an idiot and now you make me clumsy. Pick it up!"

"Yes, ma'am," Derek said as he leaned down. As he straightened back up, he ran his hand up along her leg, lifting the night gown up as he went. He handed her the scope, which she shakily set back on its stand. She almost knocked it off again, as Derek kneeled down again and gently sucked on her ankle, then started kissing a trail up her leg. Her fingers wrapped in her hair and, as he neared her core, she pulled him back up to her.

"I can't let you have all of the fun, now can I," she said, as she licked her lips. Her lips attacked his and she pushed him back to the wall. They became blinded by their passion and made sweet, forbidden love in the light of the judging moon.

**So, I'm not sure if this entry made this story rated M. If the rating does need to be changed, just tell me and I will change it.**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Meredith's eyes fluttered open, as the sound of chirping birds floated into the room. Christina entered and opened the window, the first gentle breeze of spring wafting in. Meredith pulled the blankets up to her chin, trying to tell Christina that she wasn't ready to get up yet. But Christina didn't take the hint. She started to pull out an outfit for the day and fill up the washing basin.

"Can't you see I want to sleep, Christina?" Meredith groaned.

"I'm sorry, Meredith. Maybe if you didn't stay up all night with Mr. Sheperd, you wouldn't be so tired," she said as she continued to flitter about the room. Meredith bolted upright in bed, fear rising in her throat. "Don't worry, I am not going to tell anyone," she assured Meredith when she saw the look of terror on her face.

"How did you know about that?" Meredith asked, the fear causing her voice to shake.

"I saw him sneaking out of your father's study early this morning," Christina replied, glancing up at Meredith. A soft groan escaped Meredith, as she brought her hands up to her face. She could not believe this. Even in her own home, she could not keep one thing in her life hidden. She had taken one risk, lived recklessly for a few moments, and she was already feeling the repercussions. At that moment, she realized why exactly she had lived by such strict rules. The first time she did something out of line and her world was already threatening to come crashing down.

"Miss, I promise you, I won't tell anyone," Christina tried to reassure Meredith.

"Does anyone else know?" Meredith whispered, tears threatening to spill down her cheeks.

"No, I was the only one who saw anything."

"Good," Meredith said, as she wiped away the tear that had escaped. She threw back the covers and stepped out of bed. "And no one else will ever know, because I will not do anything else with that man." She pulled the nightgown over her head and quickly washed her body. She then put on the navy skirt and grey blouse that Christina had pulled out. Christina wound her hair up in a tight bun and Meredith slipped her feet into her boots. The door cracked open and another maid stuck her head in.

"Miss Meredith, your father would like to see you in his study," she said quickly and then withdrew. Meredith stood up, smoothed the wrinkles out of her skirt and walked confidently to the door. The confidence slowly fell away as she walked down the menacing hallway.

"He knows," she thought to herself. "He knows and I am now going to be the shame of the family." She reached a shaking hand to the knob and slowly turned it.

"You wanted to speak to me, Father," she said timidly, as she stepped into the room.

"Sit," Thatcher said sternly. Meredith shakily walked to the chair and sat down, her body tense. "Were you in here last night?"

"No, sir," Meredith replied.

"Then, why was my telescope on the opposite side of the room and why did I find this," he asked, as he held up Derek's coat, "on the window seat?"

Meredith sucked in a breath when she recognized the coat. She silently cursed herself and Derek for being so careless. They had slept together in her father's study. It was only then that the stupidity of that fully sunk in.

"I don't know who's that is," Meredith lied through her teeth.

"Yes, you do! Don't lie to me, you stupid girl!" Thatcher roared, as he thundered over to Meredith. Before Meredith could comprehend what was happening, his hand raised and his knuckles connected with her cheek, sending her crashing out of the seat. She laid there in a crumpled heap, as a searing pain shot through her head. She tried to lift her hand up to her throbbing cheek, but Thatcher roughly grabbed her wrist and twisted it, pulling her back up off of the ground. "Who was here? Who was in this room with you? Who violated you?"

"No one violated me, Father. No one was here, I promise you," Meredith cried, her voice strangled with the pain now in her wrist.

"Then whose coat is it?" he roared once again.

"It was probably one of the help. They must have forgotten it," Meredith replied, gritting her teeth and trying to not yell out in pain. After what seemed like decades, Thatcher finally let go of her arm. She held it delicately in her other arm, her eyes glistening with unshed tears.

"You may go," Thatcher said, as he turned back to his desk. Meredith quietly walked out the room and back to her own bedroom. After shutting the door behind her, her knees gave out under her. She sunk to the floor, her skirt fanning out around her. Tears flowed down her face like waterfalls and sobs shook her body violently. Her hand rested limp in her lap, distinct outlines of her father's fingers on her wrist. She lifted her other hand to her throbbing cheek and touched it gingerly. She could already feel the area becoming puffy and swollen. After a few moments, her sobs subsided and she got back to her feet. She walked over to the vanity and saw that a deep blue bruise was already forming on her cheek. She wiped away the evidence of her tears and reemerged from her room. She descended the stairs and walked into the parlor, where she was surprised to find one perky Isobel Stevens.

"Meredith, dear, there you are," Isobel squealed, quickly gliding over to her. She wrapped a reluctant Meredith in a hug and pecked her on each cheek. She then pulled back, a wide smile plastered on her face. "So, are you excited for the dinner party the Montgomery's are having tonight? My dress arrived this morning. It is incredibly beautiful, a light blue silk with lace inlays and pearl details. I am so excited!"

"Yes, so am I. My dress should be arriving at any time." As she said this, there was a knock at the door. One of the maids got it and soon walked into the parlor carrying a large box.

"Miss, your package from Lord & Taylor just arrived."

"Oh, what luck, I get to see it," Isobel squeaked. She flicked her hand towards the maid, signaling her to open the box. The maid scrambled to remove the paper and the lid and pulled the dress out, holding it out in front of her. Isobel squealed as she beheld the sight of the burgundy satin gown with ivory inlays. It had intricate ivory embroidery across the neckline of the strapless dress and the bottom hem.

"Oh, Meri, it's beautiful. You will look absolutely stunning in it, the most talked about in the papers the next morning!"

"It is quite lovely, isn't it?"

"Every eye will be on you when you walk in the room. And Addison will not be happy." Meredith grimaced as she thought of the woman that was marrying Derek. Another wave of guilt settled into her bones, turning her stomach. She had ruined a marriage before it even began. She needed to get Isobel out of there, before she was sick. She turned her head toward the maid that was bringing in tea, yelling at her in her mind for prolonging the visit. Isobel floated over to the couches and daintily sat down, as the maid poured the tea. Meredith sat down on the couch across from Isobel and reached for her tea. She took a small sip of it, hoping it would slightly relieve the cold knot that had formed in her stomach. Completely oblivious to any problem, Isobel sipped her tea and chattered away for what seemed to be hours to Meredith. After several minutes, one of Isobel's questions caught Meredith by surprise.

"What happened to your cheek? I noticed the bruise when I first got here, but didn't want to say anything."

"I…" Meredith paused, trying to think of a suitable lie. "I fell. It was late and I couldn't see where I was going and I tripped."

"Is that really what happened, or is that just what you want me to believe?" Apparently, even though she was very energetic and bubbly, Isobel also had a brain. Meredith would have never known.

"That is really what happened. You can even ask my maid. She thought some furniture had fallen, the noise was so loud." She was apparently losing her touch at creating realistic lies.

"Well, I won't push the matter," Isobel replied as she took another sip of tea, a skeptical look on her face. "I should probably be heading back home anyway. It's time to start getting ready for tonight." With that, she got up, said some quick goodbyes and departed from the Grey house. Meredith had one of the maids take the dress upstairs. She followed behind and she and Christina set to the task of preparing her for the extravagant dinner party.

* * *

The team of six jet black horses pulling the polished, plush carriage clattered to a stop next to the Montgomery mansion. The driver stepped down from his perch and opened the door, offering his hand to Meredith. She gracefully stepped out, her skirts swishing around her legs. Her balance wavered at first, due to her stifling corset, but she quickly recovered. She felt her father's hand at her elbow and they continued forward, up the steps to the great, oak doors. They entered into the foyer, where they removed their outerwear and handed them to frazzled maids, who scurried around trying to hang everything up and not get in each other's way. Meredith and her father continued on into the Great Hall. Before they entered, though, Thatcher was caught by a business partner, leaving Meredith to fend for herself. She paused at the entrance of the room, surveying the room for a familiar face. She had to stop herself when she realized that she had, in fact, been looking for Derek. She continued into the room, not realizing that in that moment that she had paused in the door way, every single eye in the room had turned to her, every man mesmerized, every woman jealous. Especially Addison. This was supposed to be her party. Why was this newcomer taking the attention that should rightfully be hers?

She turned to Isobel, whispering behind her gloved hand, "Who does she think she is, acting all high and mighty like that?"

"Addison, honestly, she is harmless. And she's not that kind of person. She doesn't carve attention."

"No, but she still gets it."

"That's probably why. She's not desperate."

"No matter, this is my night and I will make it my night, regardless of what this twit from Boston does." With that, she plunged into the crowd, mingling with as many people as she could. She was going to be who was talked about, even if she had to force people to talk about her. She glanced over at Meredith, a smug smile coming to her face when she saw that she had withdrawn into the open drawing room. She wasn't even trying. This was a battle that was going to be easily won. She scanned the room, looking for her fiancé. Certainly, if she was with him, that would draw some attention. But she could not find him. She could not find him because after Meredith's unintentional, yet glorious entrance into the Great Hall and her withdrawal into the drawing room, he had also slipped into the drawing room, much to the horror of Meredith. She had stood at the wall, examining the beautiful painting hanging there, when Derek had come in. He had planned on sneaking up on her, but knocked over some books when he started to walk towards her. She spun around and, realizing it was him, rushed out of the room before he could catch her. Something was wrong; he just didn't know what. He started to go and find her when he heard the announcement that dinner was served. He walked to the dining room, deciding that he would just have to find out later. The elegant dining table stretched as far as the eye could see, with at least 75 places at it. There was an excited hum in the air, as everyone searched for their name on the placards. After a few minutes, everyone was seated and the servants brought out the first course. Much to Derek's delight, he found that Mark was sitting next to him. At least he would have someone sane to talk to.

"Good evening, Mr. Sheperd," Mark said in a lavish voice.

"Good evening to you, Mr. Sloan," Derek replied, clicking his scotch glass with Mark's.

"You sure are a lucky man, getting to marry Addison. She will throw some spectacular parties, for the whole city and just for you," Mark said, raising his eyebrows. Derek looked away from him, still sickened by the thought of ever sleeping with Addison. After last night, the only person he ever wanted to with was Meredith.

"Can we not speak of Addison? I'm trying to make this night a happy one and talking of her will not help," he said and then took another generous sip of his scotch. Before looking back at Mark, he stole a glance in Meredith's direction, who was talking to the women around her. The flickering candle light lit up her face long enough for Derek to make out slightly the bruise on her cheek. He could feel the anger rising in his throat at the thought of someone hurting her. She noticed his gaze and quickly looked down. After a moment, he turned to look back at Mark.

"You are smitten with her, aren't you?" Mark asked, obviously noticing the look exchanged.

"Yes, I do believe I am," Derek said with a sigh, as he looked back towards her. The look was innocent enough, but it did not go unnoticed. Especially by Addison. She sat to the right of her father, at the head of the table, and had looked down at just the right moment to see that stolen glance. Her blood started boiling, as she saw that the newcomer had also drawn her fiancé's attention. _**Her**_ fiancé, not that little wench's. Her mind immediately set to work devising a plan to bring about Meredith Grey's downfall. An evil smirk crossed her face.

"What's on your mind?" Isobel asked, noticing the menacing look on Addison's face.

"Oh nothing. Just thinking of the wedding." Isobel did not believe her, but dismissed it. She truly did not like Addison, but only put up with her because she would help Izzie's social status. She turned to the man next to her, leaving Addison to her scheming.

* * *

It felt as if a thousand little insects were crawling over Meredith's body. She shifted in her sit, trying to shake the gaze that was coming at her from across the table. She could not bear to look at him, or even be in the same room as him. Her stomach was violently turning, so much so that she had barely touched her meal. She had attempted to make small talk with the people around her, but every time she would start to feel normal again, he would look at her and she would catch his gaze and she would be back where she started. She hated that he did this to her. She was an independent woman capable to taking care of herself, but any time she was around him, she turning into this trembling mass of helplessness. And she knew he noticed the bruise; it was evident in the way he looked at her, questioning yet angry. If she didn't feel so guilty, she would have been ecstatic; he noticed and he cared enough to get angry. But the guilt beat down any sense of ecstasy. She wished that she could just go home and crawl into her bed and never get up again. And that scared her. She was living her life around a man and that frightened her more than anything had ever before in her life. The stares finally became too much for her. She pushed back her chair and gracefully lifted to her feet.

"Excuse me," she murmured to no one in particular. With that she quickly departed the room. She had no idea where she was or where she should go, so she just started wandering the halls of the Montgomery mansion. What she didn't know, though, was that Derek had excused himself a few moments after she left. And he now followed her through winding halls, about twenty feet behind as to not make his presence known. She finally stopped when she reached the conservatory. She opened the glass door and retreated amongst the greenery and flowers. A gentle breeze floated in, the fresh air helping clear her mind. She walked amongst the plants, admiring their beauty. Every so often, she would lean down to smell a flower; roses, tulips, lilies, and orchids. She felt at peace here, for the first time in days. The beauty of the flowers brought joy to her soul, like parched soil finally receiving water. Derek stood at the door, admiring the beauty before him. The moonlight toyed with her hair, as she drifted along amongst the plants. Derek felt his pulse quickening, as he grasped the severity of the situation. He was in love with her. He was madly in love with her and due to be married to someone else. But he didn't care. He just wanted to be with her. He tried to quietly open the door, but the hinges creaked, announcing his presence. Meredith's head shot up and a pained look befell her face when she saw who it was. Try as she might to avoid him, he was stubborn and insisted that that not happen. The peace that had descended her body quickly fleeted, leaving her light-headed and gasping for air. This was not what she wanted. She did not want to be tormented so. She didn't want to be wracked with guilt every day for the rest of her life. She didn't want to, dare she say it, love a man that would never love her back, at least not fully. She had had everything figured out in Boston, but all of the walls she had built up had been ruined when she came to New York, by one single man. She cursed herself for allowing herself to let those walls come crumbling down and she cursed him for causing them to fall in the first place. She cursed herself for allowing herself to fall in love with this man and she cursed him for making her fall in love. Her eyes pleaded with him to not say anything, to just leave, but he didn't take the hint.

"Are you alright?" he asked, concern lighting his eyes.

"No, I'm not alright. I'm not alright because you're following me and watching me and I can't breathe with you looking at me!" she screamed in her head. How she wished she could tell him that. But she could not.

"Yes, I am fine," she answered quietly. She bowed her head, not believing herself strong enough to bare his gaze. He walked towards her and gently grasped her chin in his hand, pulling it up as to look into her eyes. He lifted his other hand and gently ran his fingers over the raised bruise. She tried to shift her eyes, as the tears started to form again.

"No, you're not," he said quietly. "What happened?"

"I fell," Meredith tried to lie, but even she didn't believe it.

"I doubt that. You're too graceful to fall," Derek replied, a small smile toying with his lips. Meredith pulled out of his grasp and turned to the window.

"Well, I did. Whether or not you choose to believe that is your choice," she said, trying to not let her voice shake. He came up behind her and placed a tentative hand on her shoulder. She jumped at his touch and he could feel the goose bumps rise under his touch. She quickly pulled away and turned to look at him.

"We can't do this," she said, ducking her head to not look at him.

"And why is that?" Derek asked.

"My father is suspicious," Meredith squeaked out.

"How? How could he know?" Derek asked, fear rising in his voice.

"You left your coat in his study," Meredith murmured.

"No, no I couldn't have."

"Well, you did," Meredith said harshly, all of her mixed emotions turning into anger.

"How could I have been so careless?" Derek asked himself, bringing his hands up to his face. "How?"

"I don't know, Derek. How could you have been so careless?" Meredith replied coldly, trying to resist the urge to yell.

"Getting mad at me won't solve the problem," Derek said.

"Yes, it will because then you will leave me alone! Last night was nothing! I don't want anything to do with you! I don't want you following me or looking at me or touching me. I don't want you near me, so just go!" Meredith yelled, her face becoming flushed. A deeply pained look fell over Derek's face.

"If that is what you want, I must comply," he said, his voice strangled.

"It is," she said, trying to keep her voice strong and icy. Derek bowed his head and slowly retreated, closing the door behind him. Meredith looked after him, the dam finally breaking. She sunk among the flowers, her heart tearing a little more.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Derek lay in his bed later that night, the pain of Meredith's rejection shooting through his body. He had never felt like this before. It felt as if his heart was being stabbed by a thousand knives. Every time he closed his eyes, images of her danced in front of his eyes, tormenting him to no end. He tossed and turned, not able to find a comfortable position. He yearned for her, needing the heat of her body next to him to find peace. His mind had been spinning ever since those cutting words passed her lips. Could the night before really have meant nothing to her? Had she just become lost in the moment? Had all of the heat and passion he had felt simply been a figment of his imagination? He felt… he didn't know how he felt. Hurt, betrayed, devastated, and slightly angry. She had led him on and then brutally dashed his hopes of finally finding true, pure love. His heart, his soul ached. As pathetic as it sounded, he felt as if he would never be able to experience happiness again. He got out of bed and walked to the door. Down the hallway he skulked and ended up in his study. He poured himself a generous helping of bourbon, when he found that the scotch was gone. The liquid scorched his throat as it went sliding down, three large gulps in quick secession. After the first glass was gone, he poured another and another and another. As he fell down into the pit of drunken bliss, the pain subsided as his mind became clouded. He laid down on the leather couch, taking another swig of the liquid. After a little longer, he slipped into a dreamless sleep.

* * *

Tears spilled down Meredith's checks as her hair fell out of the tight bun it was wound in and cascaded down her back. The sound of ripping material filled the air, as she stepped on the hem of her dress and the satin shredded. After her run-in with Derek, she wanted nothing more but to leave that stifling mansion, but her father was nowhere to be found. She ran outside, but found that the carriage was not there. Her father must have told Spencer to come back at one. It was eleven thirty now, so she knew if she wanted to leave, she would have to get there herself. She knew that being out on the streets at night was dangerous, but she didn't care. All she wanted was to be home. So, she started running. Luckily, she had figured out her way back home, so she didn't have to worry about getting lost. The sound of her heels echoed amongst the brownstones and she was almost sent sprawling when her heel caught on a crack. She was able to right herself, but her heel had broken. With that, she removed her heels and continued on barefoot. She ran blindly for several minutes, tears welling in her eyes. She felt horrible for what she had said. The pained look on his face would not remove itself from her mind's eye. The lies that had spilled forth from her mouth now disgusted her, filling her mouth with a repulsing metallic taste. If only he knew that the night before had been the most wonderful experience she had ever had. She wanted to feel him next to her again, taste his lips, run her hands through his hair, press herself up against his strong, muscular chest. The corset she was wearing started to feel as if it was breaking her ribs, as her breath began to come in short gasps. She stumbled to a stop and lowered to her knees, her lungs on fire. She clawed at the dress, trying to loosen the corset. After no such luck, she got back to her feet and continued on.

"Why did we have to choose the mansion on the outskirts of the city?" Meredith asked herself. She started to run once again, feeling as if she would pass out at any moment. Pieces of the hem ripped off, littering the sidewalk behind her, but she didn't care. She didn't care about anything anymore, except Derek. Tears fell even faster, as the love she felt filled her chest, making it even harder to breathe. She loved him. She loved him with every piece of her. She loved him and she had pushed him away. She despised herself.

After a few more minutes, she finally reached the house, gasping for air. She flung open the door, surprising the maids that were sitting in the parlor. Christina jumped to her feet.

"Meredith, what happened?"

"I…I did something horrible, Christina. And I can't fix it," Meredith cried, her shoulders shaking. Christina walked over and wrapped her arms around Meredith. Meredith sobbed into her shoulder, not caring how much this went against the laws of society. She needed a friend and Christina was that friend. She led Meredith upstairs and helped her out of her ruined dress. She went to the wardrobe and started to pull out a nightgown, but Meredith gestured for her to stop.

"Pull out what I was wearing earlier. I have an errand I have to run," Meredith said. Christina looked at her questioningly, but did as she was commanded. Meredith pulled on the outfit and slipped into her boots. She left her hair down and walked out of the room and back downstairs, Christina following at her heels.

"Where are you planning on going?" Christina asked, concerned about her mistress.

"I am going to right my wrong," Meredith stated confidently. "Call out to Spencer and tell him to get the carriage ready."

"Yes, Meredith," Christina bowed her head, then turned and headed out to the carriage house. A few minutes later, she returned. "He will be ready in a few minutes. May I ask, what is this wrong that you must right?"

"I rejected the man I love and who loves me," Meredith said, looking into Christina's eyes. A smile crossed Christina's face.

"I wish you the best of luck in winning Mister Sheperd back." Meredith smiled at her and pulled her cloak on. She walked out the door and to the carriage, where Spencer helped her up.

"Where to, milady?" Spencer asked politely.

"The Sheperd Mansion on Apple Blossom," Meredith stated.

"Right away," Spencer replied, as he climbed up into his seat. The carriage lurched as the horses started forward. Meredith settled back into the seat, looking up at the bright stars. They seemed to be smiling at her, urging her on in her journey. A smile crossed her face for the first time in the whole day. She was going to tell Derek she loved him. She was going to take a risk and not care what might happen. She was going to live the way she wanted. She was not going to hide anymore.

* * *

In a few minutes the carriage pulled up to the curb next to the Sheperd mansion. Meredith stepped down out of the carriage and looked up at Spencer.

"Don't wait for me. You can just get my father and take him home. And make sure he knows that I'm safe."

"Yes, ma'am," Spencer said, before starting the horses down the street. Meredith walked up the walkway to the door. She quietly knocked on the door and a maid opened it.

"Can I help you?" she asked.

"Could I see Derek Sheperd, please?" Meredith replied.

"He is not accepting visitors right now."

"Please, this is urgent," Meredith pleaded.

"Alright, just be quite." The maid opened the door wider, allowing Meredith in. She led her down the hallway to a closed door.

"I can go in by myself," Meredith said. The maid looked at her, not amused. This mysterious woman was not making her job easy.

"Fine," the maid said and retreated back down the hallway. Meredith turned the door knob and silently opened the door. In the flickering candlelight, she could see Derek passed out on the couch. Her heart broke a little more, realizing that the drunken heap in front of her had been her fault. She tiptoed over to him and placed a cool hand on his cheek. She gasped when she found him laced with fever. He murmured in his delirium and moved slightly. His eyelids fluttered open for a few seconds and he looked up at her.

"Are you really here?" he muttered, staring up at her in confusion. She caressed his cheek, a light smile on her lips.

"Yes, yes I'm here," Meredith calmly replied. "And I'm going to take care of you." She leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on his lips. The smell of bourbon was strong in her nostrils and she gently pulled the glass out of his reluctant hand.

"No, don't take it," he mumbled, as his eyes closed once again.

"If I don't, you'll drink yourself sick," she replied, starting to turn to place it back on the table. Before she could, though, he reached out and clutched her hand.

"Don't leave me," he said, his eyes pleading. She returned to his side and took his hand, pushing back the hair that had fallen over his face.

"I love you," he whispered before slipping back into unconsciousness. She looked down at him, her eyes glowing with the love she felt for him.

When she knew he was asleep, she replied, "I love you, too."

She slipped her hand out of his grasp and walked out of the room, in search of some water. She quietly snuck down the hallway and tried to find the kitchen. Rain began to pour down outside, lightning flashes lighting the long hallways with eerie, white light. Goose bumps ran up and down Meredith's arms, as the judging stares of Derek's ancestors followed her down the hall from their framed prisons. She was playing with fire being here, borderline of being burned. But she didn't care. She had to take care of him, especially since she was the one that had brought about his condition. After trying a few wrong rooms, she finally reached the kitchen. She grabbed a large bowl out of the cupboard and a rag and filled the bowl with cold water. She walked back out of the kitchen and to Derek's study once again. She kneeled next to him and dipped the rag in the water. After ringing it out, she wiped it gently against his forehead. The cool water woke him slightly and he turned his head to look her in the eye.

"That feels nice," he mumbled, smiling at her. He reached out his hand and pulled her closer. He then placed her hand on his cheek. "That feels better."

She smiled and leaned down and kissed him on the cheek. "You need to sleep now. You're not going to get any better if you don't."

"I don't want to sleep if you're here. You might go away again." Meredith's heart broke when those words reached her ears. She had hurt him so much, more than she could have ever imagined.

"Don't worry. I'm not going anywhere," she said, as she smiled down at him. "I promise."

"I still don't want to sleep. I just want to lay here with you. I want to talk to you, learn more about you."

"Anything I tell you tonight, you probably won't remember in the morning."

"I'll remember. I remember everything you tell me." Meredith smiled at this, her face glowing in the flickering candlelight.

"Do you really love me?" Derek's question cut through the air, making Meredith's heart skip a beat.

"You heard that?" Meredith asked, flustered. She could feel blood rushing to her checks.

"Why are you blushing? Did you not want me to know?"

"No… I wanted you to know. I just wanted it to be a better time than this."

"Well, I'd say this is the best time for you to tell me. Especially after the incident at dinner." Meredith looked down at the floor, not able to meet his eyes. "Why did you say those things?"

"I was scared. I was scared of people finding out about what happened and me being cast out of society. I was scared of falling in love with you and then you rejecting me."

"So instead, you rejected me after I fell in love with you."

"Yes. But I didn't mean anything that I said. I don't want you to leave me alone or stop caring about me and making sure I'm alright. And I lied about our night together. It was amazing. I never felt that… that whole. It was like you were filling this void that I had never realized was there." Derek lay there, looking at her, speechless. He had never felt more joy before in his life. She loved him. She hadn't meant what she had said. But was she willing to be with him, despite all of the lies they would have to tell and the secrets they would have to hide?

"But, will you stay with me? Even though I still have to get married?"

"I will stay as long as I possibly can. Maybe even longer."

"I don't want to ask you to risk your position."

"Derek, I'm sitting here in your study in the middle of the night during one of the biggest thunderstorms of the season. I don't care about my position anymore. All I care about is being with you." She leaned in and kissed him full on the lips. He wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her into him. The kiss deepened, as they became lost in each other. After a few moments, they pulled away, breathless.

"Shouldn't you be heading back home?" he asked her, as the thunder sounded once more, but not as close.

"I don't plan on leaving quite yet," she said, as a smile spread across her face. She gestured for Derek to move over. After he did, she crawled up and lay down next to him. He wrapped his arm around her waist and she relaxed back into him, their bodies like two fitting puzzle pieces.

"I love you," she whispered in the darkness.

"I love you, too," he whispered back.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Meredith's eyes fluttered open early the next morning, her body stiff. She looked around, disoriented, when it suddenly struck her that she was laying wrapped in Derek's arms on the couch in his study. Panic made the hairs on the back of her neck rise, as she frantically tried to figure out how she could leave and get home without being seen. She tried to release herself from Derek's grasp, but he was still sound asleep, his face buried in her hair. She turned so that she was facing him and gently caressed his rough cheek, lifting him slightly from his sleep. A small smile toyed at his mouth, but he refused to wake. She ran her hand through his hair, waking him a little more. Finally, she became frustrated and kissed him full on the lips, her tongue forcing its way into his mouth. His eyes sprang open, as he stared down at her and his tongue started to dance with hers. She finally pulled away after a few moments.

"Why'd you stop?" Derek asked, as he tried to kiss her neck. She pulled away far enough that he couldn't reach her, but not so much that she was out of his grasp.

"Because I need to figure out how I'm going to get home. It's seven in the morning if you haven't noticed." She pulled back against Derek's arms and he finally released. She got up and started pacing. "How can I get home without getting seen? I don't have a carriage, I'm sure my father is worried sick, and I'm in your study at seven o'clock in the morning with maids and servants and cooks and grooms and your family all around us. There is no way that I can get out of here."

Derek got up off of the couch and walked up behind Meredith. She turned around to look at him, her eyes darkened with fear. "Meri, we're going to get you home, without being seen. Just relax."

"How can I relax? Everything is at risk here. Everything could be exposed if anyone, anyone at all, sees me leaving here."

"What happened to all of the progress we made last night? I thought you weren't afraid anymore," Derek said, hurt creeping into his eyes.

"I…" Meredith stopped short. He was right. She had taken one step forward and three steps back. She couldn't do that. She couldn't hurt him again. "I'm not afraid. I am not afraid. I'm going to get out of here, but I'm not going to worry about whether or not I'm seen."

"Thank you," Derek breathed, his eyes lightening once again.

"But I still need to find a way out of here. I don't care about the public, but I do care about your family. Your father could easily dispel my father and me from the city." She turned her back to Derek and started to look around for a way to get out. He walked up behind her and moved the hair that had fallen across her cheek back behind her shoulder. Meredith tensed under his touch, in anticipation of what she knew was to occur next. Derek suddenly attacked the beautiful, pale skin on Meredith's neck, gently nipping at times. Meredith's knuckles turned white and her nails dug into the arm of the leather couch, as she tried to restrain the moan that was threatening to erupt from her body. Derek pulled back and Meredith spun on her heel, staring up at him with desire darkening her eyes.

"Look what you did to the couch," Derek said playfully, enjoying the torture he was making her go through.

"Forget the damn couch," Meredith growled, as she forcefully pushed Derek down onto the couch. She crawled up on top of him and ravished his mouth with her own. She moved down to his jaw, his neck, and finally his collarbone. His hands tangled in her hair, as she slowly unbuttoned his shirt and kissed the skin revealed. Derek started to move his hand up her skirt, but she swatted it away.

"You left me all hot and bothered. I'm now returning the favor," Meredith said seductively. She removed herself from over top of Derek and walked over to the window, as Derek remained on the couch, eyeing her greedily. She started to open it, when Derek got up off of the couch.

"You're not honestly going to climb out of the window, are you? You'll fall to your death."

"I am a little more graceful than that, Derek."

"Yes, you've proven that. You're also quite bendy."

Meredith turned and slapped his arm, a smile lighting her face.

"You're so vulgar!"

"I'm just stating facts."

"No, you're not!"

"Yes, I am. And you know it's true. But I will not let you climb out of that window."

"Than what do you suggest I do?"

Derek stood looking at her for a few moments, contemplating what to do. An idea suddenly lit up his face.

"Took you long enough," Meredith said, when she noticed his facial expression. "Is this why you don't have a job?"

"Ha ha, how funny. But before you continue to ridicule me, I actually do have an idea."

"What is this brilliant plan of yours, Mr. Sheperd?"

"Well, Ms. Grey, before I can present my plan, there is one thing I must know. Can you ride a horse?"

"I'm slightly afraid to answer, but yes, I can ride."

"Then, I know just the way to get you out of her."

"What are you going to have me do?" Meredith asked, apprehensive.

"You are going to dress in some of my clothes to look like a stable hand. I'll then take you out to the stable, get you a horse and you will ride home. We can figure out some way to get the horse back here after."

"That will never work."

"And why not?"

"I won't exactly pass as a man. You should know that."

"You'll wear a large coat to cover your beautiful breasts, even though I don't want to, and then you'll wear a hat to cover your face. Trust me, Meri. This is going to work."

"I do trust you. And I do believe this will work."

"Stay here and I'm going to go get the clothes you need," Derek said as he walked to the door. He gave Meredith a quick peck, before leaving. A few moments later, he returned with a large bundle of clothes in his arms.

"Did anyone see you?" Meredith asked, her expression turning slightly frantic.

"No, no one saw me. I thought you said you trusted me."

"I do. Stop questioning me."

"I'm just playing with you. I know you trust me. Now, put these on."

"Turn around."

"Why? It's not like I haven't seen you without clothes before."

"Just do it," Meredith commanded. Derek finally complied and turned around. Meredith changed quickly and folded up her clothes.

"What do you suggest I do with my clothes?"Meredith asked, as Derek turned back around. He then pulled a bag out of the closet in the study and handed it to Meredith.

"Put them in here. Since you're posing as a stable boy, it won't look at all odd for you to carry a bag."

Meredith put her clothes in the bag and swung it over her shoulder.

"How do I look?" she asked, smiling at Derek.

"Wait, you missed this," Derek said as he handed her the hat. Meredith placed it on her head and Derek stepped forward, pulling it down so its shadow covered Meredith's eyes. "Much better," he said as he stepped back.

"Do I look like a man?"

"You look like the most attractive man I've ever seen."

"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?"

"It's by far a good thing for me, but for everyone else, it might not be. You may not be able to keep that disguise up for more than the time you need. You might attract some female attention."

"Would you be jealous?" Meredith asked, her eyebrow raised seductively.

"Of course I would," Derek replied, as his mouth crashed onto hers. Meredith's hat fell to the floor, as she leaned her head back in pleasure, their tongues dancing. Derek wrapped his arms around her and pulled her delicate form into him. Meredith finally pulled back, her head swimming. Derek leaned down and picked up her hat. As he stood back up, he slowly ran his hand up against her leg. Meredith squirmed, trying to resist the urge to push him back onto that couch and not leave for a few more hours.

"Shouldn't I be going? Meredith said, through clenched teeth.

"I suppose you should."

They drew apart and Meredith gathered her things. They walked to the door and stepped out into the hallway. Derek stepped out in front of her and whispered over his shoulder, "Stay behind me and keep your head down. Remain as discrete as possible."

Meredith nodded as he glanced back at her and they continued down the hallway. They almost made it to the stable without being seen, but then a high-pitched voice called out. "Derek, is that you?"

Derek stopped dead in his tracks and turned towards the door. When he saw the person calling his name, a smile brightened up his face and he rushed in.

"Maggie! What are you doing here?" he practically yelled, as he lifted the small woman off of her feet in a big bear hug.

"Mother forced me into coming so she could see her new grandson."

"Where is my new little nephew?" Derek asked, the smile not leaving his face.

"He's right here," his mother called out, as she walked into the room, carrying the sleeping baby boy. As Meredith watched from the hallway, she felt tears start to prick her eyes as the realization that scenes like these would never occur in her home. She would never have a mother to fawn over her child, a sister to joke with. A single tear trickled down her cheek, as she continued to watch the beautiful family scene playing out in front of her. A slight smile brought her out of her depression, as she watched Derek take the child in his arms.

"He is going to be a wonderful father some day," Meredith thought to herself. "If only he could be a father with me."

A warm glow spilled from the room, as grandmother, mother, and uncle all carried on pleasant conversation and the child continued to sleep.

"I hear congratulations are in order, Derek. You're finally engaged," Maggie chuckled.

"Finally?" Derek questioned, an annoyed look on his face.

"To listen to mother talk, one would think you were never going to get married."

"Well, you are twenty-seven, Derek. I only have your well-being in mind," Elizabeth piped up.

"Mother, I am perfectly capable of running my own life."

"Which is why Father had to arrange your marriage," Maggie muttered under her breath.

Derek playfully glared at her. "You are really not helping my case here."

"I know," Maggie said, a smile playing at her lips. Meredith shuffled in the hallway and Maggie looked toward the door. "Derek, is someone at the door?"

Derek kicked himself, as he realized that Meredith was still in the hallway. "Oh, that's just a stable boy we hired this morning. I was leading him out."

"Show him out, Derek. I'll still be here later," Maggie assured him. He smiled at her and walked back out to Meredith.

"Sorry," Derek mouthed to Meredith.

"It's alright," Meredith mouthed back. They continued to the door and onto the path that led to the stable. When they reached it, Derek pushed back the door, revealing the small, cozy stable. Six horses rested in their stalls and the smell of fresh hay permeated through the building. Derek walked down to one of the smaller, bay horses. He opened up the stall and Meredith grabbed a brush that was sitting on the shelf.

"You never cease to amaze me," Derek remarked, as he watched her start to run the brush over the horse's body.

"My life has not been as sheltered as you may believe. There was once a time when my father would actually let me do something."

"And for that, I'm grateful to him. You're like a breath of fresh air compared to all of the other women in this city."

"I am incredibly flattered, Mr. Sheperd. And flattery will get you everywhere."

"I'm counting on that," Derek said, his eyes darkening once again.

"Not now. Just go get the saddle."

"I love it when you order me around."

"Stop it. Just go get the saddle."

"Fine, ruin my fun."

"That's what I do best."

"But at least you don't when I have you screaming my name."

Meredith glared at him over the horse's back, as she adjusted the saddle and tightened the girth. Derek fetched the bridle and placed it on the horse's head. He then led the horse out into the aisle and Meredith came up behind him.

"Alexander was Maggie's horse. He's the tamest thing you could ever find, so you should be able to get home fine. Do you know your way?"

"Yes, Derek. You've already asked me that twenty times."

"Well, forgive me for being worried about you. I don't want anything to happen to you," Derek said as he gently caressed her cheek. Meredith smiled as she looked up at him.

"I am fully capable of taking care of myself."

"I know that, but I still want to take precautions. I would be devastated if I lost you."

"You are perfect."

"No, I'm not. But you bring me pretty close."

"I love you," Meredith said, as she looked lovingly up into his eyes.

"I love you, too," Derek replied. Their lips met in a gentle kiss. Derek then gave her a leg up onto the horse and she nudged him with her heels. He stepped off at an easy walk, with Derek coming up behind them. He opened the gate for Meredith and looked up at her.

"Be careful," he said.

"I will," Meredith replied, as Alexander stepped off at a gentle canter.


	7. Chapter 7

**So, I think this is my favorite chapter. It's a little bit of fluff before the angst later. The ballroom scene is inspired by "Don't Stop the Music." **

**Disclaimer: I wish I owned these characters and this show, but I don't.**

**Warning: Chapter does include sexual content.**

**Please, read and review.**

Chapter 7

Meredith dismounted from Alexander and handed the reins to Spencer, who was standing at the door of the stable with a puzzled look on his face.

"Take impeccable care of him and please clean the saddle and bridle," Meredith ordered. Spencer nodded and started to take the horse.

"Did my father notice I was gone?" Meredith asked, worry crossing her face.

"I believe he is still sleeping. He was quite drunk when I brought him home early this morning. I doubt he even noticed," Spencer assured her.

"Thank goodness. Good day, Spencer."

"Madame," Spencer nodded to her.

Meredith walked down the path and quietly opened the kitchen door. She quickly snuck up to her room and removed Derek's clothes. She then pulled out her clothes for the day, put them on, and ran a brush through her snarled hair. She then wrapped it up in a tight bun and slipped on her shoes. She walked out into the hallway, the stress finally lifted off of her shoulders. She was home. She strode down the hallway and looked into her father's study. He was sitting at his desk, the paper spread out in front of him.

"Ah, Meredith, please come in, come in," he called out.

"Good morning, Father. You are in a good mood this morning," Meredith said, as she walked in and sat down.

"Yes, I am indeed."

"May I ask what this happiness comes from?"

"I have just decided to fully embrace New York City."

"What happened last night?"

"Just some very enlightening conversation. And because of it, I have decided to throw a ball and I am putting you in charge."

"Me? Father, I' m honored, but I can't plan a whole ball on my own."

"Well, you'll have all of the maids at your disposal. I'm sure Christina will help you."

"Alright, I guess I'm up to the challenge."

"I'm sure you'll do fantastic, my darling."

"Thank you, Father," Meredith said, as she stood and started to leave the room. "I'll try not to let you down."

"I'm sure you won't," he said, as he flashed a smile at her and returned to his paper. Meredith returned to the hallway, to find Christina waiting for her, a sly smile on her face.

"You knew about this, didn't you?"

"Come along, Meredith. With a ball to plan, we don't have time to waste with pleasant conversation," Christina said as she started to head to the parlor. Meredith followed closely behind her, shaking her head at Christina's eagerness. She would be a better member of higher society than me, Meredith thought to herself. They walked into the parlor, where Christina had already spread out some papers.

"What is all this?" Meredith asked, an amused smile on her face.

"Well, your father mentioned the ball yesterday, so I took the liberty of pulling out the lists of things that your mother usually did for a ball."

"Well, that's very kind of you, Christina," Meredith said, as a slight amount of sadness revealed itself in her eyes. "Should we set to work?"

"I believe we should," Christina said, her excitement barely contained.

A few hours later, Meredith and Christina had tied down all of the plans for the ball. A masquerade ball would officially ring the Grey family into the New York City social scene. After they finished, Christina immediately set out to clean and prepare the house. No matter what Meredith said, she thought to be ready for a ball eight days from then, she needed to start right then. Meredith then set off for Lord & Taylor to choose the fabric and design for her new dress.

* * *

Meredith walked amongst the rows of fabric, reaching out to finger some of them. The many-colored silks and satins glistened in the soft sunlight and the lace and tulles sat in their beauty. Meredith wanted something dramatic and elegant, yet extreme to commemorate her arrival into this new society. All of her other dresses had been subdued; this time she wanted something special, something that would make people know that she was going to take the city by storm. Everything she saw just didn't work. She started to walk down another row, when she looked up and saw Addison. She tried to back away without being noticed, but she had no such luck.

"Meredith!" Addison called to her. Meredith turned back to her, a fake smile plastered on her face.

"Addison! How are you?" Meredith said, as she walked back to her.

"Fine, fine. Just looking for the fabric for my wedding dress. The wedding isn't for another six months, but Mother insists upon it have such intricate detailing that we have to start now," Addison said in a sickly sweet voice, noticing Meredith squirm. The future Mrs. Sheperd had dug her claws in.

"Are you having any luck?" Meredith asked, trying to sound interested and resisting the urge to run away from her.

"Not so far. Nothing is up to my standards, I guess. So, what are you doing here?"

"Getting a new dress for the ball my family is putting on next week."

"Oh, you're putting on a ball. I'll have to be sure to attend. But I don't think I'll be able to get a new dress. Daddy won't want to spend anymore, especially since this dress is going to be so expensive."

"Well, good luck with finding your fabric, Addison," Meredith said, trying to back away.

"You as well, Meredith." Meredith turned away and started to walk away, when Addison spoke up again.

"Oh, Meredith, one more thing." Meredith reluctantly turned back around. "Come here."

Meredith walked back to her and Addison leaned in next to her, whispering coldly in her ear, "Stay away from my fiancé. I have more power over this city than you know and if I ever see you with him again, you can kiss your days in this city goodbye." She started to turn, but Meredith caught her arm.

"You are no more innocent than I, Addison. If you ruin my reputation, I can just as easily ruin yours," she said in just as cold of a whisper. A cold smirk passed over her face, as she turned on her heel and walked away.

* * *

The teal fabric rustled around her legs, as the layers fell and settled. She slipped her shoes on and sat at the vanity. The maid set to work on her hair, twisting strands up and pinning them in an elaborate design. Two small peacock feathers were then wound in amongst the hair. She picked up the intricately decorated mask lying on the table next to her and held it up to her face. She then stood and walked to the mirror, admiring her reflection. Meredith smiled, pleased with her selection. The teal satin glistened in the light, with the sage inlays playing off of the teal perfectly and the gold detailing setting everything off. The teal mask was outlined with feathers and the feathers in her hair were the special touch she had been looking for. It was spectacular and the perfect outfit to introduce her officially into society. She straightened some wrinkles in her dress and fixed a piece of her hair. She had left her father to show the guests in, as she was planning to make a big entrance. She didn't want to seem like one of those vain people that hungered for attention, but this was a special night. She wanted all eyes on her for once. She wanted to show Addison that she held just as much power as she did. She walked out of her room and to the stairway. She rested her hand on the banister and began to gracefully descend the stairs. The crowd became silent, as they watched her come down and she could hear some of them gasp. She smiled at them regally, a huge grin playing at her lips when she saw her father beaming up at her. He obviously approved. And it was evident why. The ballroom looked immaculate, almost like something out of a fairytale. Candles flickered in their holders and the orchestra sat at the head of the room, starting up their music. Meredith walked into the crowd, basking in the congratulations and praise that were being showered on her. She walked to her father, who wrapped his arm around her.

"I am so proud of you, darling. This is wonderful," he whispered in her ear.

"I guess I inherited Mother's party-planning genes," Meredith joked.

"I guess you did," he joked along with her. "She would be so proud of you."

"Yes, she would," Meredith said, a pained smile on her face.

"Well, now is not the time for sadness. This is your night. Let us start it."

"Yes, lets," Meredith said as they walked to the head of the room. Thatcher tapped his glass and clearing his throat, drawing all eyes to him.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I welcome you to my home for this spectacular ball put on by my beautiful daughter, Meredith." The crowd erupted in applause, causing Meredith to blush. "Please, everyone, eat, drink, dance, be merry and know that the Grey family will take Manhattan by storm." With that, he and Meredith departed from each other to the sound of thunderous applause. Meredith walked off to the edge of the crowd as the music began and dancers took to the floor. She said fleeting hellos and goodbyes to people as they passed her, but for the most part, she was alone. Until someone tapped her on the shoulder. She turned to find herself face to face with a masked Mark Sloan.

"Why is the host of the party not out on the dance floor?" he asked her, his eyes twinkling.

"I just haven't found anyone to dance with," she replied with a smile.

"Will you dance with me? Or am I not good enough?"

"I guess you'll do," Meredith said playfully, as he started to escort her out onto the dance floor. They spun gently around the dance floor, as everyone else parted the way for them.

"I guess we're the sight to see tonight," Mark said, smiling down at her.

"Well, it is the host of the party dancing with one of the most eligible bachelors in all of Manhattan."

"I'm one of the most eligible bachelors?"

"Well, you have a new woman hanging on your arm every week."

"And are you the new woman for this week?"

"I guess I am," Meredith said, as her eyes shifted around the ballroom.

Mark leaned down and whispered in her ear, "Don't worry. I know you're taken."

"No…no I'm not," Meredith stammered.

"I don't think Sheperd would want to hear that," he said with a mischievous smile.

"How do you know about that?" Meredith hissed at him.

"Sheperd's my best friend. He tells me things. And it's obvious the way you look at each other."

"Well…" Meredith started, but stopped short when she saw Derek staring at them from across the room. Her chest tightened, as she looked upon his dashing figure.

"He's gorgeous. And I need him… now!" she screamed in her head. She tried to concentrate on Mark, but her eyes kept shifting back to Derek. He looked as gorgeous in his tuxedo as he did on that first night, but now with the mask, he was so endearing. She knew she was acting lovesick and probably a little stupid, but she didn't know how she was going to keep from screaming out in desire.

"Are you alright?" Mark asked, noticing her distraction.

"Yes, I'm fine," Meredith said through gritted teeth, as his eyes bore into her. She could tell he wasn't happy. And that made him even more tempting. The intense desire she felt made her squirm under Mark's touch. He looked down at her, sensing her discomfort.

"The dance will be over in a few moments. Then you can go to your lover," he whispered. Meredith tried to look up at him in shock, but instead just looked up at him with a grateful smile and mouthed a "Thank you."

The music finally did stop after a few more minutes, but to Meredith, it seemed like a lifetime. After they glided to a stop, she curtsied to Mark, as he bowed to her.

Before they departed, Mark whispered in her ear, "Go make Sheperd a man."

"I plan on it," Meredith replied with a seductive smile. She walked back to the edge of the room, grabbed some champagne from a waiter, and downed it in one gulp. She was planning on making this a special night… in more ways than one. As she handed the glass back to the waiter, she saw Derek from across the room, his eyes boring into her. She stared back, her eyes telling him of her desires. She began to walk down the side of the room, with Derek mirroring her on the other side, their eyes never leaving each other. A sensual smile toyed with Meredith's lips, as she noticed Derek's eyes turn the deep, stormy blue she loved so much. They were almost to each other, when they were pulled into the crowd of people joining the group dance. Meredith laughed, as the music started and she watched Derek elbow his way in so that he was opposite Meredith. The dance began and Derek and Meredith came together, Derek's hand tight around her waist and her hand on his chest.

"You look beautiful tonight," Derek said as they spun around.

"As do you," Meredith replied, as they pulled away. They then turned to the people next to them. A few moments later, they were back together. He spun her under his arm, his eyes boring into her, as he stated in a gruff, "I saw you dancing with Mark."

"Are you jealous?" Meredith asked sweetly, as she spun back into him.

"Not in the slightest, but you did seem a little too comfortable with him."

"Well, maybe he's my other lover," she said, enjoying her torture of him.

"So now I have a competition with my best friend for you?"

"Who says he's not the only one?" Meredith smiled mischievously, as she returned to the line. They turned to the person next to them once again. Meredith decided to torture Derek even more by becoming totally enthralled with her new partner, Alexander Karev. She looked deep into his eyes and toyed with him, getting some questioning looks from Alexander and some deathly glares from Derek. His eyes stayed on her the entire time they were apart and he felt his blood boiling as he thought of punching Karev to high heaven. After what seemed like hours to Derek, they were finally back together.

"What was that?" Derek hissed at her.

"I was just having some fun," Meredith replied innocently, "with another one of my lovers."

"You're only supposed to have fun with me," Derek said, his eyes growing even darker.

"Well, you're not giving me any fun, now are you?" she said over her shoulder as she returned to the line once again. She glanced at him, her eyes dark. He nodded at her.

"Soon," he mouthed to her. A few moments later, the dance ended and the group dispersed. Meredith gathered her skirts in her hands, the mask coming off of her face. She walked briskly out of the room, trying to find an empty room. She finally snuck into the servants' hall and skulked down it, until she reached the kitchen. Luckily, it was dark and empty. She perched on the table and waited.

Soon after Meredith left, Derek followed behind her. He followed her through the halls until he, too, reached the kitchen. He tried to resist the urge to instantly rip her clothes off when he saw her, perched there on the table, her skirts pulled up around her knees. He quickly crossed the room and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her up into him. His hands worked their way under her skirt and rested on the back of her bare thighs, pulling her even closer. His mouth attacked her neck, as moans of pleasure escaped her body. She arched her back into him, her hands digging into his back.

"I need you," she whispered into his ear, causing him to instantly become hard. He set her back on the table and started to try and get her dress off. He was able to remove the outer part of her dress, but struggled to remove the corset. He was finally able to work his fingers through the strings and remove it. Meredith breathed a sigh of relief as the constricting article was discarded on the floor. She then turned back to face Derek, placed her hands on his chest and slowly removed his jacket, running her hands over his muscular arms. They stared deep into each other's eyes, hungry. She unbuttoned his shirt, revealing his toned chest, heaving with desire. He lifted her back up in his arms and laid her back on the table.

"Make love to me, Derek," she whispered. And he did as she commanded.

* * *

Sweat trickled down her shaking arms, as he pulled her closer to him. Meredith and Derek gasped for air, as they both surfaced once more. They looked lovingly at each other, as Derek gently pushed Meredith's hair off of her face.

"Thank you," Meredith whispered.

"Thank you, my dear," Derek whispered back.

"Shouldn't we be going back upstairs?" Meredith asked, wondering just how much time they had been away and whether or not anyone had noticed their absence.

"We should, but I think we will have difficulties looking like we did before we left," Derek replied, as he looked at their clothes strewn about the floor.

"You're right. I suppose you'll be able to return to how you looked before, but unless you can get me back in a corset, I'm not going back up. Not to mention my hair," she said, as she lifted her hand up to her hair. Half of it was hanging completely out of the pins and the other half was almost out and one of the feathers was nowhere to be seen. She got up off of the table and pulled her petticoat back over her head, but that was the only thing she was going to be able to get back on without help. Color seeped into her cheeks, as Derek stared at her. She had never felt more stupid in her life. She couldn't even dress herself of do her own hair. So much for her being an independent woman. She broke the gaze, shame choking her.

"Meredith, what's wrong?" Derek asked, as he walked over to her and cupped her cheek in his hand.

"How can you love a woman like me, Derek? I can't even dress myself. I'm a puppet; I follow what everyone tells me to do. There is nothing endearing about me, nothing special. How can you love me?" Meredith pleaded with him, as a single tear trickled down her cheek. Derek took his thumb and gently wiped it away.

"Meredith, how can you even ask that? Look at me," he said, as he gently lifted her face to look into her pained green eyes. "Meredith, you are a strong, independent woman. Look at you. You've overcome losing your mother and sister; you've overcome your father and his drinking problem; you've overcome your fear of being with me. How can you say you're a puppet? If you were a puppet, you wouldn't be here with me right now. So what if you can't dress yourself. Most upper class women can't. And I can see why," he said, as he leaned down and picked up the corset. "How do you wear this thing? I had an impossible time getting it off, it was so tight."

"It does hurt. I've cracked about three ribs, Christina's pulled it so tight."

"Why do you put yourself through that?"

"It's fashion; it's society. If I didn't wear it, people would think something was wrong with me."

"Well, I don't think there's anything wrong with you if you don't wear it and that's all that should matter, right?" he asked jokingly.

"I wish you were all that mattered, but that can't be. You're not even supposed to look at me, so no one in society would care what you thought of me."

He stroked her arms lovingly and looked deep into her eyes. "I wish we could just stay like this," he said softly, "in this dark kitchen, away from the judging eyes of society, away from all expectations, all duties. It would just be you and me forever."

"That is all that my heart ever yearns for, Derek."

"Why can't we leave? Just go to Europe or out west and never have to care about what anyone thinks ever again."

"And how could we do that? I'm only a woman and everything you do is funded by your father. We would be living on the streets."

"But we would have each other," Derek said, as his eyes bore into Meredith's soul. How could she say anything to that?

"We'll talk of that some other time," Meredith said, trying to change the subject. "Right now we need to figure out how we're going to get back upstairs." Before she could continue, the sound of footsteps filled the air.

"Quick, hide!" Meredith hissed, as the footsteps became louder.

"What about you? You're the one standing in the petticoat," Derek whispered.

"I'll be fine. Just hide." He did as she told, as the maid set foot in the room. Meredith breathed a sigh of relief, when she found the maid to be Christina.

"Meredith, what are you doing in here? And standing in your petticoat?" she asked.

"Oh, I, um," she stammered. "Derek, come out." He emerged from his hiding place and realization struck Christina.

"Oh, I see. And my guess would be you can't get back in your dress, so you're both just hiding down here, am I right?"

"Quite," Derek said, as he walked forward to retrieve his jacket.

"Then I guess it is my duty to help you, isn't it, Miss Grey," Christina said, her voice dripping with disdain. Meredith looked down at the floor and shook her head. She had just been shamed by a maid. Derek looked between the two, not wanting to get involved. He walked over to Meredith and kissed her on the forehead.

"I'm going to go back up, alright?"

"Yes, fine," she murmured, as she tried to smile up at him.

"I love you," he said, as he gently stroked her cheek.

"I love you, too," she muttered, embarrassed by Christina's presence. He departed from the room, as Christina gathered the articles of clothing that were still strewn about the room. She handed the corset to Meredith, who placed it around herself. Christina took the strings in her hands and pulled on them gruffly, making Meredith have to bite her lips to keep from crying out in pain.

"I may be being too bold here, but this whole affair with Mr. Sheperd has gone too far," she said callously. "I let it slide before, telling myself that you two were just mistaking frustration for love and were using each other to escape the stresses you both were going through, but now you're sleeping together in a kitchen, during a ball that you are hosting. You can't honestly believe that no one has noticed your absence. And when they notice also the absence of Mr. Sheperd, it won't be long before people put two and two together. How much longer do you think you'll be able to keep this act up? He's due to be married and your father is worried about you not finding a husband soon and is beginning to make arrangements. This can't continue, Meredith. Not unless you want chaos."

She finally finished with the corset and helped Meredith into the dress. She then silently fixed her hair and then left the room, leaving Meredith to her thoughts. She was right. Meredith 

knew she was right, but couldn't fathom saying goodbye to Derek. It made her heart ache to even think of it. But he was due to be married and her father was arranging a marriage for her. She cringed at the thought of being tied to someone she could never love, just as Derek would have to. Her head spun in confusion, as thousands of thoughts fought their way through her mind. Her head was telling her to agree with Christina and walk away, but her heart wouldn't let go. A single tear trickled down her cheek and fell, splashing to the floor.


	8. Chapter 8

**Hi everyone. So here's chapter 8. It's just a little interaction between Derek and Addison. **

**Disclaimer: I still don't own these characters.**

**Please, enjoy and review.**

Chapter 8

Derek gripped the brass door knocker, the cold metal cooling his sweaty hand. He banged it against the door two times and then waited, wishing with all of his heart to be anywhere but there. Finally, a maid opened the door and ushered him in.

"I'd like to see Addison, please," Derek told the maid.

"Yes, sir, right away," the maid replied and quickly backed away from him. A few moments later, Addison strode into the foyer, her hips swaying and a confident smile on her face.

"Derek," she said in a lavish tone, as she wrapped her arms around him. He gave her a light peck on her cheek, but even that small affectionate gesture left a foul taste in his mouth. If he couldn't even give her a kiss on the cheek, how was he ever going to be able the marry her, make love to her. He shuttered at the thought. He had been there less than two minutes and already he was aching to leave.

"Addison, how are you today?" Derek asked as he pulled away from her, trying to get away from her touch without making his discomfort known. But Addison wouldn't have that. She hooked her arm in his and walked him into the parlor, her other hand on his. She led him to two chairs secluded in the corner. He didn't even have Mrs. Montgomery to ease the situation. He reluctantly sat down and Addison sat across from him, smiling a ridiculously huge smile. He felt uncomfortable sitting there under her gaze and he pulled at his collar, his tie suddenly strangling him.

"I'm fine, actually more than fine, thank you for asking. And you?"

"Oh, I'm fine also."

"So, what brings you here today?"

"Can't a man visit his fiancé?" Derek forced himself to joke with her. "This may be the hardest lie I have ever had to keep up," he thought to himself, as he watched Addison's smile widen even more.

"Well, of course he can," Addison almost squealed, as she clutched his arm. "But are we going to stay in this stuffy parlor the whole time?"

"We can go to Central Park, if you wish."

"Oh, Derek, that would be wonderful."

"Then, will you honor me with your company on this outing?"

"Of course I will," Addison said as she got to her feet and practically dragged Derek into the foyer once again. The maid in there stopped dead in her tracks and stared at them, her eyes wide.

"Don't stand there like an idiot, Aggie. Get me my cloak and hat and get Mr. Sheperd his hat."

"Yes, Miss," the maid stammered, as she rushed to do as her mistress commanded. Addison glared after her and looked back at Derek.

"It's so hard to find good help these days," she complained to him. Derek stood there, speechless at her prima donna attitude. Living with her was going to be harder than he had imagined. A few moments later, the maid returned, stumbling over herself when she tried to give them their things. She accidentally dropped Derek's hat and cringed in anticipation of the reprimand Addison was sure to give. And give it, she did.

"Aggie, you clumsy fool! You can't even handle something as simple as fetching a hat and cloak. I don't even know why Father hired you. But consider your days here numbered."

The maid remained crouched on the floor, her eyes turned down, unable to look at Addison for fear of her seeing the tears spilling from her eyes and reprimanding her further. Derek's heart broke for the young girl. He kneeled down next to her, resting his hand on her shoulder.

"Shh, you're alright," he murmured soothingly to her. "It was a mistake; it wasn't your fault. You will not be fired over dropping a hat."

She turned her head to look at him, wiping her nose with the back of her hand. Derek smiled gently at her.

"She's only a child. She doesn't deserve to be treated like this," he thought to himself. Addison fell even more in his eyes. He pulled his handkerchief out of his pocket and handed it to the girl. She hesitated to take it, glancing briefly up at Addison.

"It's only a handkerchief and I won't bite, I promise," he laughed lightly. The girl smiled at him weakly and took the handkerchief out of his hand. She wiped the remaining tears off of her face, handed it back to him and stood up. He straightened as well.

"Thank you, Mr. Sheperd," Aggie said, as she handed him his hat.

"Thank you as well, Miss Aggie," he said, as he reached out for the hat and flashed her a smile. "And please call me Derek."

"Well, thank you again, Derek," Aggie said, as she turned and walked from the room. Through this whole ordeal, Addison had just stared on in wonderment.

"What was that?" she asked Derek, as he returned to her side.

"I was just trying to make the poor girl feel better, after you yelled at her so," he said, his voice hard.

"Derek, she's only a maid, she doesn't matter. And since when do you let a maid call you by your first name?"

"Since a close colleague of mine made me realize that the maids and servants that we hire are no less of a human being than we are."

"And who was this close colleague?" Addison asked, suspicious that it wasn't a colleague at all.

"Does it matter who the colleague was, Addison? All that matters is what he taught me, right?" he asked, his voice raising an octave. Addison shrank back slightly. He had never raised his voice with her, or anyone that she had seen him, for that matter. There was a reason why he felt so strongly about this, she just couldn't figure out what that reason was. She walked at his side, as she mulled the thoughts through her head. As they entered the park, though, she pushed those burdening thoughts form her mind. She was there to spend time with her future husband. They walked along the paths in silence, as all eyes turned to them. Finally, Derek decided to break the silence.

"Did you enjoy the ball the other night?" As soon as the words left his mouth, he wished he could pull them back. Why did he ask her about the ball at which he slept with another woman, at which he placed another nail in the coffin that was his doomed marriage?

"Yes, it was quite enjoyable. I don't particularly like the family that threw it, but they can throw a party, I will give them that."

"Why don't you like the family?" Derek asked, trying to mask his rising anger.

"They just seem so… fake," Addison replied.

"No, you're the fake one," Derek thought to himself, as he gritted his teeth.

"And, the daughter, Meredith, I believe her name is, she craves attention and does everything she can to get it. I mean, did you see that dress she was wearing the other night? It made her look like a tramp, but I'm sure that's what she wanted."

"But don't you do the exact same thing?" Derek started to say, but bit his tongue. How could she even say that? How could she think that his angelic Meredith was a tramp? She was the tramp. He could feel his blood pressure rising, but knew he couldn't say anything. He just reverted in on himself, giving simple answers to all questions and pretending to listen, as Addison talk on and on about the wedding. That was, until he heard it, that contagious laugh that he would recognize anywhere. He looked to his left and, sure enough, there was Meredith, sitting on a blanket with her father, a picnic basket between them. Even in such a simple setting, she was breath-taking. The breeze gently moved her hair, the sunlight making it look like gold. She looked happy, happier than he had ever seen her. And that made him love her even more.

"Are you listening to me?" Addison impatiently asked moments later. Derek had to tear his gaze away from her to look into Addison's blazing green eyes.

"Yes, of course I'm listening. Please, continue."

Addison didn't fully believe him, but continued on anyway. Derek was already gone, though, lost in her green eyes. She hadn't noticed him, but he didn't want her to. He just wanted to watch her in secret, see the fleeting family moment she was having with her father. He watched her get to her feet and gather up the picnic things, placing them back in the basket. Her father then picked up the basket, wrapped his arm around her, and they proceeded to the path. He continued to watch her and soon realized that they were coming straight at Addison and himself. He looked over at Addison, trying to make his infatuation unnoticeable. He felt Addison tense next to him, as the two groups came upon each other.

"Miss Montgomery, Mr. Sheperd, how nice to see you," Thatcher said, a delighted smile on his face. Derek smiled at the man, trying to avoid Meredith's eyes. Shame choked him, as he thought of how Meredith must feel, standing there, looking at her lover and his fiancé.

"Mr. Grey, how are you? I see you've finally recuperated after your ball, as have you, Meredith," Addison said, as her eyes moved between the two Greys.

"Oh, yes. It was exhausting, but I do believe it was the party to be seen at."

"Oh, it was. It was all over the papers the next day. And it was such a fitting way to show you into the city. You are most definantly known as a force to be reckoned with now."

"That was my goal," Thatcher joked, his dramatic smile creasing his eyes. Addison laughed at his attempt at humor, as Derek and Meredith stood next to their partners, staring at the ground. Addison then turned to Meredith, forcing her to tear her eyes away from the stone that had captured her interest.

"And Meredith, your dress was absolutely breath-taking. The feathers were a nice touch. What exactly were you supposed to be portraying?" Addison asked, masked mockery in her eyes.

"It was supposed to look like a peacock," Meredith replied, looking straight into Addison's eyes, "one of the most magnificent birds in nature."

"Yes, of course," Addison said, looking back into Meredith's eyes just as firmly.

"What were you again, Addison?" Meredith asked, her eyes flashing, telling Addison that she wasn't easily intimidated.

"Oh, nothing in particular. Just a masked beauty, I guess," Addison said lightly, laughing as she turned to Derek, who just smiled weakly back at her. They were competing, over him. In any other situation, Derek would have been overjoyed, like any other red-blooded man, but he could not find any joy in this. He didn't want Meredith to have to compete, he wanted her to be able to be with him with no hindrances.

"Oh, that's too bad. It's always more fun when you put some creativity into it."

"I can be very creative when I want to be, Meredith. But with the wedding coming up, I didn't feel the need to put too much creativity into one ball," Addison said, her annoyance becoming hard to restrain. Noticing this, Derek decided it would be best for him to step in.

"So, Mr. Grey, how has business been lately?" he asked, as he noticed Meredith flash a grateful glance in his direction.

"Quite well. With all of the over-night millionaires coming in from California, the bank has never seen better business. My only hope is that it will continue."

"I'm sure it will," Derek said, looking at the man. His heart broke for him, as well as Meredith, as he noticed the dark circles under his eyes and the deep wrinkles starting to line his face. This had to have been a hard time for the two and they just now seemed to be beginning to breathe once again. But who said something wouldn't cause that to come crashing down again. Bile rose in his throat, as he realized that that thing that could ruin their relationship once again was, in fact, him. He shook his head a few times, as if to dislodge the unsettling thought from his head.

"Nothing will happen. We will be together and no one will ever know," he thought to himself. But looking over at Addison, he realized that the chance of no one ever knowing was one in a million. That was evident in the little spat she and Meredith had had moments before. His eyes came to rest on Meredith and, instantly, his pulse slowed; the stress he was feeling fell away. He was amazed at how large of an affect she had on him, but was not at all surprised. She was his calming force, just as he was hers.

"Well, Meredith and I must be on our way," Thatcher said. "It was a pleasure to see you both."

"The pleasure was all ours, Mr. Grey. You and Meredith have a wonderful day," Addison said, her fake smile returning to her face.

"You as well, Miss Montgomery, Mr. Sheperd. Good day," Thatcher said, as he nodded to them and he and Meredith set off down the path. Derek and Addison then set off in the other direction. They walked silently for a few minutes, but Derek finally had to break the silence.

"What purpose did that spat with Meredith back there serve?"

"That was hardly a spat, Derek," Addison said, disbelief in her voice. "She questioned my authority and I showed her what the truth was."

"I don't like you demeaning people like that. It's so… crude," Derek said, as Addison looked at him in shock. Not able to think of anything intelligent to say, Addison didn't reply and they walked in silence, until they reached Addison's home once again.

"Thank you for the outing, Derek. I'm sure we'll see each other again soon," Addison said quickly and slipped into the house, not giving Derek a second glance. He walked down the sidewalk and back to his own home.

* * *

The flickering candlelight was the only thing that lit up the room, giving everything an eerie glow. The sound of soft sobs came from the floor by the bed. A portrait of her mother lay in Meredith's trembling hands, as silent tears slid down her cheeks, falling onto the glass.

"Why did you have to leave?" Meredith asked the silence. "Why did you have to leave me here all alone? I don't know what to do. I don't know how to face this. What should I do, Mother? Please, please, tell me."

Meredith keeled over, painful sobs wracking her body, ripping through her chest, breaking her heart a little more. She struggled to draw in a breath, as the tears fell faster. She felt herself become lightheaded, but she no longer cared. All she could focus on was the pain that was suffocating her, ripping a hole in her chest. She slowly shifted into a laying position on the floor and drew her legs up, tears dripping off of her cheeks and onto the floor. The pain in her chest felt white hot, burning through all of the walls and defenses she had made, and her tears choked her even more. In that moment, she wished for nothing more than her world to go black and the pain to end.

After what seemed like hours of gushing tears, Meredith felt strong arms wrap around her waist and pull her up into her bed. Not having the strength to look and see who it was, she just lay in the stranger's embrace and let the tears fall freely. She felt the stranger's hand run through her hair.

"Ssh, it's alright. I'm here. Nothing can harm you." That soothing voice was like water falling over the fiery pain that burned in her chest. After her sobs calmed, she turned to find herself face to face with Derek. He smiled at her and gently caressed her cheek. Pulling out his handkerchief, he wiped away the tears that continued to trickle down her cheeks. He then kissed her gently on each cheek.

"Thank you," Meredith whispered, her throat raw.

"You're welcome," he whispered back. "Are you alright now?"

"Yes, I believe so."

"I'll go and let you get some sleep then," Derek said, as he unwrapped himself from around her and started to get up.

"Derek," Meredith said timidly, causing him to turn back around.

"Yes?"

"Will you just hold me?" A smile spread across Derek face and he walked back to the bed, laid down, and pulled Meredith into him. Within a few moments, both were asleep.

**Ok, so I'm going on vacation for the next week, so I'm going to try and update a few more times before I leave, but I can't promise a ton.**


	9. Chapter 9

**I think I'll be able to get one more update posted before I leave. In the mean time, please read and enjoy Chapter 9 and hit that review button a lot. **

**Dsiclaimer: I still don't own these characters. That didn't change in twenty minutes.**

Chapter 9

A knock resounded from the front door as Meredith stepped into the foyer. Not seeing any maids coming, Meredith strode to the door and pulled the large oak door open, to reveal Mark Sloan standing on her doorstep, wringing his hands. He looked up and smiled at her, as a bewildered smile also spread over Meredith's face.

"Mark, what are you doing here?" she asked, as she ushered him in.

"I think the more important question is why are you answering the door? Have you suddenly become a maid without telling me?"

"Yes, Father's business went sour, so I'm now a maid in my own home."

"How does it pay?" Mark asked, smiling at her.

"Not very well, but I get food to eat and a place to sleep," Meredith replied, playing along with his joke.

"Well, that's always a perk," Mark said, laughing

"So, back to my original question. What brings you here today?" Meredith asked, as she brought him into the parlor. She gestured to a chair and he sat down, while she sat across from him.

"Can't a friend visit a friend?" he asked, his eyes dancing.

"Well, of course, but friends usually don't come so early. We weren't expecting visitors for another few hours."

"Well, I came at the request of your father," Mark said, avoiding her eyes, obviously uncomfortable.

"What? Why did he want you to come?" Meredith asked, the hairs standing on the back on her neck. This wasn't going to be good.

"He… um. Meredith, there's no easy way for me to say this, what with everything that I know about you," Mark said, as he looked down at his hands.

"What's going on, Mark?" Meredith asked, her voice betraying her concern.

"He wanted me to ask you something."

"Yes?"

"Will you be my wife?" Mark asked timidly, as he looked up into her eyes. Meredith's jaw dropped slightly, as the question sunk in. She turned her head, as her stomach turned. After a few moments and a few deep breaths, she turned back to him, a gentle smile on her face.

"I guess I have to give you the only answer I can," Meredith said, as she watched Mark's face drop. "And that is yes."

Mark looked back up at her, as a huge smile lit up his face. Meredith smiled down at him and wrapped her arms around him in a awkward hug.

"Are you sure about this?" Mark asked. "I mean, with Derek and all."

"I don't really have a choice, do I?" Meredith asked, a slight amount of bitterness evident in her voice.

"No, I guess you don't," Mark said, his brow furrowing. He turned his head back to the floor once again. Meredith cupped his chin in her hand and turned his head back up towards her, so she could look into his steel blue eyes.

"But don't think for a second, Mark Sloan, that I will regret this marriage. It is not my ideal marriage, but I will never get my ideal marriage. So know that I will be your wife and I, we, will grow to love each other. Alright?"

"Yes, yes of course," Mark said, as he kissed her gently on the cheek.

"Why me?" Meredith asked, as she pulled away from him. "Why did you ask me?"

"It wasn't me, it was your father and my father. My father threatened to disown me if I didn't marry and your father was worried about you not getting married, so they hatched a plan and here we are."

"Here we are," Meredith said quietly. He gently squeezed her hand.

"When do you want the wedding to be?" he asked.

"I don't want to rush into it. With spring coming upon us, I would really prefer to wait until next spring. A spring wedding just sounds beautiful to me. It's what I've always dreamed of."

"Than a spring wedding is what you will have. You will have everything that you desire."

"You can't give me what I really want," Meredith thought to herself, as she smiled lightly at Mark.

Mark pulled his pocket watch from his jacket and flipped it open. The corners of his mouth turned down.

"I'm so sorry, Meredith, but I really must go. My new career awaits," Mark said as he stood.

"Your new career?" Meredith asked as she looked up at him.

"Yes, since I'm getting married, I need a career to support my new family."

"You started working for me?" Meredith asked, as she got to her feet and walked to Mark.

"I didn't think of it like that, but I guess I did."

"You are going to be a wonderful husband," Meredith said, as she gave him a light kiss on the cheek.

"I certainly hope so," Mark said, as he smiled down at her. They walked to the door and Meredith opened it.

"Good day, Mark," she said.

"Good day, Meredith," he replied, as he stepped out the door. Meredith closed it behind him and leaned against the cool wood, completely and utterly shocked.

* * *

_Thatcher Grey proudly announced the engagement of his daughter, Meredith, to the dashing Mark Sloan today. No date has been set yet, but be sure that it will be quite the extravagant ceremony. It may even outshine the impending wedding of Derek Sheperd and Addison Montgomery. We will all just have to wait and see._

Derek's hands shook as he read and reread the newspaper article, his anger rising each time. The words seemed to glare up at him and he fought the urge to rip the paper to shreds. How could she do this to him? How could she betray him so? And Mark, his mind couldn't even form the words to show how he felt about Mark. He had never felt so miserable in his whole life and that just fueled his anger more. He paced, he threw his glass, he did everything he could think of, but nothing could calm him. Nothing would, with the exception of talking to her and figuring out what exactly was going on. He threw on his coat, clutched the paper in his hand, and walked out the door into the dark night. He was going to find out what was going on, even if it meant going to her. As he walked, his anger continued to gnaw at him and he fumed even more, clutching the paper tighter and tighter in his hand. He finally reached the Grey house and climbed up the trellis that he had begun to know so well. He pushed on the window, hoping it would be unlocked like every time before, but to his surprise, it wasn't. He rapped his knuckles on the window and a few moments later, Meredith opened the window.

"What are you doing?" she whispered, as she backed away from the window, allowing Derek in. As he stepped in, he handed her the paper. As she read, the corners of her mouth turned into a frown and her eyes fell.

"Derek, I'm so sorry. I wanted to tell you, so you wouldn't have to find out like this, but-"

"But you couldn't find the time to tell the man you love that you're engaged , so that he wouldn't have to find out by reading the newspaper," he hissed at her, his anger darkening his eyes.

"How am I the one at fault in this situation?" Meredith hissed back. "You're getting married, too. You can't expect my life not to continue on as it would have before just because I'm with you, Derek."

"But that's different," Derek stated.

"How so? Tell me, Derek, how this is so different from what you did to me."

"What I did to you? You came into this knowing full well that I was going to be married. My engagement didn't happen after we were together."

"So that makes us being together before not as bad, because you weren't the one being hurt, because you weren't the one having to watch the person you loved be with someone else and know that you could never be with them. That made us being together before not as bad because you could just have the pleasure and none of the guilt. I understand, Derek. This whole situation was alright as long as you got what you wanted and didn't get hurt in the process."

"So why are you still with me, if it was so hard for you to bear?" Derek sneered at her.

"Because I love you. And that love overpowered every other thing that was standing in the way of my being with you. But if you're not willing to do the same for me, I don't think this can continue."

Derek stared at her, as he felt all air leave his body. It felt as if he had been run down by a train.

"How can you even say that?" he asked, his voice cracking slightly.

"Because, Derek, I have put so much on the line for you, but you don't seem willing to do the same for me. I can't give you my heart if you're not willing to give me yours."

"Meredith, my heart is in your hands. How can you not understand that?"

"If that's true, then why did you come here to yell at me about my engagement," Meredith said, eyeing him coldly.

"Because I don't want you with any other man, especially Mark."

"Couldn't I say the exact same thing to you?"

Derek stopped short, as he received another sharp blow. His stupidity suddenly became real to him.

"I…" he struggled to find the right words to make this all go away. She looked away from him, not letting him see the tears he had caused to form in her eyes.

"Good night, Derek," she said in a quivering voice, as she continued to refuse to look at him. His shoulders slumped, as he started to walk to the window. He cursed himself for letting his anger get the best of him, cursed himself for saying the things he did. He glanced over at her and his heart tore. He couldn't stand the fact that he had hurt her. In that moment, he hated himself more than he ever had before.

"Meredith…" he started.

"Good night," Meredith said strongly. But that was far from how she felt. It felt as if her world had been pulled out from under her feet. All in one day she became engaged, fought with the man she loved, and found out she was pregnant. The stress became too much to bear and her stomach turned violently several times, making her feel like she was going to be sick at any moment. She clutched the bed frame as the room started spinning and Derek's back became blurry. Black began to outline her field of vision, as she felt her knees become weaker and weaker.

"Derek," she faintly whispered, as her knees finally gave way. Derek turned and grabbed her, just before she crashed to the floor.


	10. Chapter 10

**So, I didn't have enough time to fully check this chapter over, but I've read it through a few times before, so it should be ok.**

**Disclaimer: Nope, don't own 'em.**

**Enjoy Chapter 10 and please review.**

Chapter 10

Terror froze the blood in Derek's veins, as he heard that faint whisper come from behind him. He spun around and sprinted over to Meredith, sweeping her up in his arms just before her delicate body hit the floor. His face drained of all color, as he looked upon her unconscious form. He swiftly laid her upon her bed and swept the hair from her face, his fingers brushing over her closed eyes. His pulse pounded in his ears, as fear choked him, its cold fingers wrapping around his throat.

"Meredith," he said, his voice quavering, "darling, please wake up."

He sunk to his knees at her side, caressing her cheek, begging her to open her eyes and smile up at him. He wracked his mind, trying to think of some way to get a doctor or some form of help to her. He was stuck in that room; he had no way of getting her help. He thought, perhaps, that he could sneak down to the servants' quarters and find Christina, but then decided against it. He couldn't run that risk. But then the door swung open and Derek's prayers were answered.

"Meredith, are you ready for me to help you prepare for bed?" Christina asked as she walked into the room, the door blocking her view. She stopped short, her expression bewildered, when she saw Derek standing there. Her jaw then dropped when she saw Meredith lying on the bed, not moving.

"What did you do?" she hissed at Derek, as she rushed to Meredith's side.

"I did nothing. We were arguing and she demanded that I leave. I was about to when I heard her whisper my name. When I turned, she was falling to the floor, unconscious. This was not my doing."

"Did she seem fine when you were talking?"

"Yes, there was nothing wrong," Derek insisted.

Christina's eyes widened with fear, as Meredith refused to wake. She stood and wrung her hands in her apron, as panic set in.

"Why aren't you doing anything? Meredith needs help!" Derek practically yelled.

"Be quiet," Christina hissed, as she glared at him. "I don't know what to do. I can't get a doctor in here without her father knowing."

"At least try to get one. If he stops you, say one of the help got sick or hurt or something. Just do something."

"As you wish, sir," Christina said, her voice dripping with spite. She departed from the room quickly and Derek turned back to Meredith. He caressed her cheek as he knelt down beside her bed, praying that she would wake up. For the first time in years, he actually prayed, pleading with God to wake his angel on earth. He rested his head on the bed, as a single tear streamed down his cheek, leaving a wet trail behind it. He didn't bother to wipe it away, as guilt washed over him. How could he have said those things to her? If only he would have been paying more attention to her and not planning what he was going to say next, he would have realized she was sick; he might have been able to help her. And he wouldn't be sitting there, watching over her unconscious form. He stood once more and started pacing, trying to release some of the emotions that were ripping his heart to shreds. He paced, and paced, and paced, until he noticed slight movement in the direction of Meredith. He rushed over to her, to find her eyes fluttering open. Her vision blurred for a moment, everything loosing focus, but her head quickly cleared and she looked up to find a concerned Derek standing over her. She watched as relief washed over his face, lightening his features. He leaned down and kissed her gently on the forehead, smiling down at her.

"Meredith, are you alright?" he asked, as he caressed her check.

"Yes, yes I'm fine," she replied swiftly, as she sat up and tried to stand, but Derek pushed her back down.

"What are you doing?" she cried indignantly, as she tried to push against his restraining hand. But the hand would not move.

"Meredith, you just fainted and didn't wake for thirty minutes. You are not getting up until a doctor checks you over."

"I'm fine. It just became stuffy in here and I fainted, alright? Fainting is a natural thing."

"Yes, but remaining unconscious for extended periods of time is not."

"Derek, I'm fine, really I am. I just became flushed. It's nothing to be concerned about," Meredith lied through her teeth. She discretely touched her stomach, knowing that the child growing in her womb was indeed something to be concerned about. But she couldn't tell him. Telling him would ruin everything, expose every secret. She plastered a fake smile on her face to reinforce her position. The hand fell to Derek's side and his shoulders slumped, realizing that this was one battle he was not going to win.

"Will you at least allow me to get you some water?" he asked quietly, his eyes searching her face.

"Yes, that's fine," Meredith replied, flicking her eyes away from his. He returned to his feet and walked over to the pitcher, pouring some of the cool liquid into glass. He handed the glass to Meredith and as she took a sip, he sat down on the bed next to her.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said the things I did," he said, unable to look her in the eyes.

"It's alright. I get jealous sometimes, too, when I see you with Addison."

"I just can't stand the thought of you being with Mark. He's my best friend, for goodness sake. I don't want this to make me hate him."

"You are not going to hate him, Derek."

"How can you know?" he asked, turning his head to look at her.

"You are not going to hate him because I love you, more than life itself, and Mark knows that. He feels as guilty about this as I do. We are only doing this for our families. Not for love; never for love because I am totally and completely yours."

Derek placed his arm around Meredith and she leaned into his chest, a kind of bliss settling over them. She rested her head on his shoulder, as he gently rubbed her arm.

"Come away with me," she whispered.

"What?" Derek asked as he pulled away from her, thinking that his mind was playing tricks. She couldn't have possibly just said what she did.

"Come away with me," she said confidently, a slight amount of desperation in her eyes.

"Where will we go?"

"My father owns a summer house in the countryside in Massachusetts. We can go there. I can say I just want to get away from the city for a while, what with the news of my engagement, and you can say you're going for work."

"What work? I only do things for my father's company; I don't have an actual career."

"Well, think of some excuse to go."

"I could say I was going to visit Beth. She lives somewhere in Massachusetts."

"So, you'll come," Meredith asked hopefully.

"Nothing could keep me from spending time with my love," he said, as he kissed her lightly. "I should leave. It's late and you need to rest."

"At the week's end we will leave," Meredith said, kissing him back.

"I will count the hours," Derek said as he climbed over the side of the balcony and disappeared into the night.

* * *

Birds chirped in the trees, as the carriage rolled down the country road. Meredith sat in the back, with Christina next to her, smiling as she watched the countryside fly past her and the clouds drift above. It felt as if she could breathe for the first time in months, now that she was going back to the one place where she could let her hair down and be herself. And Derek was going to be there. She felt her heart flutter in her chest at the thought of being alone, away from the world, with Derek for five days. This was going to be her little piece of heaven on earth.

After a few more silent minutes, the large, white summer house loomed ahead. The carriage pulled up to the barn and Meredith's door was opened by a black groom.

"So good to see you again, Miss Meredith," the groom said, as he offered Meredith his hand.

"Preston!" Meredith cried, as she wrapped him in a hug. Preston tensed at her touch, but then relaxed into the hug, wrapping his toned, darkened arms around her.

"I've missed you so much," Meredith said as she pulled out of the hug, her eyes twinkling with joy.

"I have missed you as well, miss," Preston replied, smiling down at her. His eyes moved from Meredith's face to the woman emerging from the carriage behind her. Christina glanced up at him but, noticing his gaze, quickly shifted her eyes back to the ground.

"I will start taking the bags into the house, Meredith," she said, starting to move to the back of the carriage.

"I can do that for you," Preston said, stepping forward.

"Don't you need to take the horses?" Christina muttered, as she pulled one of the bags down.

"I can take care of them after I help you."

"I can do it myself," Christina said firmly. Preston backed off, defeated, and grabbed the bridles of the horses, leading them into the barn. Meredith picked up one of the bags, Christina grabbing the other two, and they ascended the steps to the door.

* * *

A soft knock resounded at Meredith's door. She strode from the window to the door and opened it to find Preston standing there.

"Your guest has arrived, Miss," he said formally and then backed away from the door.

"Something is bothering him," Meredith thought as she closed the door once more. But the thought quickly vanished from her mind, as excitement set in. She pulled on the breeches she had stolen from one of the previous grooms and buttoned her shirt, then pulled her riding boots on over the breeches. She walked down the stairs, to find Derek standing in the doorway, the light outlining his figure. A smile lit up his face, as he watched the love of his life walk down to him.

"More men's clothes?" Derek questioned as he kissed her lightly.

"Well, you said you liked me in them, didn't you?" she retorted, smirking at him.

"Yes, yes I do," Derek replied, pulling Meredith into him and passionately kissing her.

After she pulled back, Meredith said, "The real reason I put these on was because I thought if you weren't too tired after your trip, we could go riding and I could show you my favorite place on the property."

"Nothing would delight me more, my dear," Derek said. "Let me just go change into something a little more comfortable to ride in. I will come and find you out at the barn."

"That's alright. I can wait for you," Meredith insisted. Derek kissed her on the forehead and dashed up the stairs. Meredith heard a door slam upstairs and a soft smile lifted the corners of her mouth. She had never felt more content in her life. Everything felt like it was falling into place.

A few moments later, Derek returned. He wrapped his arm around her waist, as they walked out the door and to the barn. They walked into the dimly lit building, to find Preston polishing one of the saddles. Meredith smiled at him and then walked down to one of the stalls, opening the door. The black horse walked over, nickering at her. She pulled an apple out of her pocket, holding it out. The mare took it delicately in her mouth and crunched on it contentedly. Meredith grabbed some of the brushes and started running the brush over her glistening coat. Derek stood, leaning against the frame of the stall, just watching her.

"This is Artemis. My father gave her to me when I turned thirteen. Her mother died when another mare kicked her and shattered her front legs when Artemis was just a baby. I lived in this barn for days taking care of her. My mother was so upset, but I refused to leave and my father encouraged me. I kept her alive and I was the first one to ride her. No one else could; she would just throw them off. I begged my father to let me ride her, but he was so scared I would get hurt. So, one night, I snuck out, put a saddle on her, and took her out. By sunrise, I had fallen off ten times, but I was riding her. My father came out and, upon seeing me, scraped and bruised, but on her back, he gave her to me. Last year, right after Ann and Mother died, she was my best friend and my support. It's almost like she's human when I really need her to be," Meredith said as she rubbed Artemis' head.

"She is beautiful, a beautiful animal for a beautiful woman. So who am I going to ride?"

"Preston, will you prepare Apollo for Derek?" Meredith called out of the stall.

"That's alright, Preston," Derek said. "I can prepare my own horse."

"I wouldn't do that…" Meredith began, but Derek was already in the white horse's stall.

About thirty seconds later, Derek ran out of the stall, gasping for air. "Why didn't you tell me this horse was a devil?" he cried. Meredith giggled from Artemis' stall.

"You think this is funny?" Derek asked, walking over to the stall. "That horse tried to charge me."

"Apollo is a perfect angel under saddle, but he doesn't like strangers coming into his stall, only Preston. You would have known that if you had listened to me. Now, Preston, please prepare Apollo for Derek."

"Yes, Miss," Preston said as he opened the stall door. Apollo immediately put his head on Preston's arm.

"I guess the bloody horse does love him," Derek said, chuckling under his breath. "So why are they named after the twins?"

"My father went through this Greek mythology phase. The two were born on the same night and they were inseparable out in the pastures. Since Apollo is white, we named him after the god of the sun and Artemis, being black and Apollo's opposite, was named after Apollo's twin."

"Do you put that much thought into all of your horses' names?" Derek asked quizzically.

"My father and I did. Ann never really took an interest in horses and when Father gave her one, she named it Brown." Meredith said, as she ducked under Artemis' neck. Derek laughed out loud.

"I wish I could have met your sister. She sounds like your exact opposite. Like Apollo and Artemis."

"She was," Meredith said, smiling slightly. "We truly proved that opposites attract. We were inseparable all of our lives. But there were times we would switch roles. My father always said by being our father, he had already gotten a taste of hell and heaven. Ann was his angel; I was his demon."

"You are hardly a demon, my dear," Derek said, smiling lovingly at her.

"I wouldn't say that just yet," Meredith said slyly, as she placed the saddle on Artemis' back. She tightened the girth and then walked to the tack room, retrieving her bridle. She slipped it gently over Artemis' head, tightened the straps, and then led her into the aisle-way.

"Could you give me a leg up?" Meredith asked Derek from over her back. Derek nodded and walked around the horse, positioning himself behind Meredith. He placed his hands on her waist and she smiled at him over her shoulder. He leaned down and kissed her shoulder.

"Sir, I do not believe that that is giving me a leg up."

"I am deeply sorry, madam," Derek said, as he placed his hands on her ankle. He lifted her small frame up and she fell gracefully into the saddle. She placed her feet in the stirrups and took the reins into her hands. She tapped Artemis on the sides with her heels and she walked off into the inviting sunlight.

"Are you coming?" Meredith yelled back inside to Derek. Preston lead Apollo out of his stall behind Derek and he quickly swung up into the saddle. He adjusted his stirrups and walked Apollo out into the courtyard. He pulled Apollo up, so that he was standing next to Meredith.

"So, where to first?" Derek asked.

"Just try to keep up," Meredith said with a smile, as she pushed Artemis into a gallop. Derek stood back, watching the amazing woman gallop away in front of him, but then, realizing that he was falling behind, dug his heels into Apollo's sides. He galloped after Meredith, but no matter what he did, he could not catch up to her. They ran through the meadows, flying over logs and trenches in their paths. Meredith's laugh carried on the wind, as her black beauty stretched out at a full out run. Derek kicked Apollo, trying as hard as he could to catch up to her, but he just couldn't. They sent butterflies flying up from their perches in the wild flowers, the grass giving way under their horses' hooves. Meredith's hair streamed out behind her, as the ribbon she had tied it up with went flying out of her hair. Derek watched it come fluttering down to the ground and, taking the reins in his left hand, reached out the other one and grasped the ribbon in his hand. He pulled it into him and, looking down at it, realized that it was indigo, his favorite color. As they continued to gallop, Meredith turned sharply to the left into the forest that bordered the meadow. She pulled Artemis up into a graceful canter and she weaved amongst the trees, hovering over her glistening black neck as Artemis leapt over the fallen trees in front of her. Derek tried to follow her through the maze she was weaving through the trees, but he only had flashes of black to guide him. After a few more minutes of going deeper and deeper into the forest, Meredith stopped in the middle of a large clearing. She looked back to see Derek trotting up to her.

"So, how do you feel? You just got out rode by a girl," Meredith asked him playfully.

"That's not fair. You know the land. I had to follow you or I would have gotten lost."

"Excuses, excuses. You just don't want to admit that I can ride better than you."

"Fine, you ride better than I do. So why are we here?" he asked, looking over at her. She swung down out of her saddle and took the bridle off of Artemis, letting her graze. Derek did the same and when he looked back up, Meredith was gone. He walked through the clearing and found Meredith's clothes folded on a rock. He continued to walk forward and found a calm blue pool. Still not seeing Meredith, he started to walk away, but turned back when he heard a splash in the water. Meredith surfaced in the middle of the pool, her hair fanning out around her, water glistening on her bare shoulders.

"Are you going to join me?" Meredith called from the water. Hearing this, Derek quickly unbuttoned his shirt and slipped out of his pants, diving into the water. Water went flying, soaking a giggling Meredith. He swam up to her and took her in his arms as his head came out of the water. He kissed her lightly, but Meredith had other things on her mind. She flipped back out of his grasp and swam down to the bottom of the pool. Derek waited and waited, but she never did come back up. Getting worried, he started trying to look for her. While he did, she surfaced silently behind him and swam up behind him. She pushed her hands towards him, sending a wave of water over his head. He spun quickly, catching Meredith around the waist before she could swim away.

"You think that's funny, do you?" Derek asked, as Meredith tried to suppress giggles. With that, he swam over to where he could stand and lifted Meredith up in his arms.

"What are you planning on doing?" Meredith asked, her eyes flicking over his face hovering above hers. He smiled slyly at her and started to answer, but before she knew what was happening, she was flying through the air. She splashed into the water, leaving Derek laughing. She surfaced quickly, sputtering water. She swam past Derek and climbed out of the pool, leaving him scorned in the water. She spread Artemis' saddle blanket over the grass and laid down, letting the sun dry her body. Derek climbed out and laid down next to her, taking her hand in his. Wild flowers waved in the breeze around them, as Artemis and Apollo grazed 

behind them. Derek toyed with Meredith's hand, turning it over and over in his hand, tracing every line on her palm, playing with each finger, memorizing every part of her hand. Meredith lay there, staring up at the rolling clouds, feeling more secure than she ever had before in her life. She placed her free hand subconsciously on her stomach, suddenly feeling guilty for not telling Derek. She turned so that she was on her side, looking deep into Derek's eyes.

"Derek," she started timidly. He smiled at her, urging her to continue. "Derek, I need to tell you something."

"Anything, my love," he said, deep love visible in his eyes. The words stopped in Meredith's throat, choking her. She couldn't tell him; telling him would destroy this wonderful peace that had settled over them.

"It's not important," Meredith said, turning her head away from him. Derek propped himself up on his elbow, looking down on her face. She turned her head to look into his eyes, the pain visible there.

"Meri, what's wrong?" Derek asked, concern darkening his eyes.

"It's nothing, it's nothing that you need to worry about," she said, tears pricking her eyes.

"Meredith, we cannot be together if you don't include me in your problems."

"It's not your burden to bear," Meredith said, lifting up to kiss him gently on his lips. "I can handle it on my own."

"Meredith, please tell me."

"I will ruin our time together if I tell you. Please, just let me have this time to forget."

"As you wish," Derek said, as he laid back against the blanket. There was something big going on, but he wasn't going to push her. He needed this escape as much as she did. The sun began to set over the pool, the reds and pinks reflecting in the water. Meredith sat up, her golden hair falling over her bare back. Derek sat up next to her, kissing her shoulder. Meredith tensed under his touch and bent her head up, giving Derek full access to her neck. He kissed a trail from her shoulder, across her collarbone, up her neck, across her jaw, and finally up to her lips. He bit gently on her bottom lip, making her give him complete access. She moaned into his mouth, but pushed him back.

"Not tonight, please," Meredith pleaded. "I just want to be with you, no sex, just feel you near me. Please, do this for me."

"Of course, my love," Derek said, pulling her into his chest. She leaned into him, the heat from his body warming her.

"I love you," she said quietly.

"I love you, too," Derek said, placing his arm around her waist. After a few more minutes in silence, Meredith stood and put her clothes back on. She retrieved the blanket and put the saddle and bridle back on Artemis. Derek stood and did the same and then helped Meredith back into the saddle. He pulled himself back into the saddle and they walked through the forest, side by side. They rode in silence, listening to the sounds of the forest, and just enjoying being with each other. When they finally emerged from the forest, Meredith pulled Artemis up to a stop and Derek did the same.

"Why are we stopping?" Derek asked, looking over at Meredith. Meredith looked back at him, the playfulness of earlier taking her back over.

"Race you back to the barn," Meredith said quickly, as she galloped off. Derek followed, not willing to let her beat him again. He urged Apollo to go faster and he finally was even with Meredith as the barn loomed ahead. Meredith looked over at him, laughter lighting up her eyes. Just as she turned back to look forward, a rabbit ran in front of Artemis. Artemis threw her head up and stopped dead in her tracks, sending Meredith flying over her head and tumbling through the grass. Derek pulled Apollo to a stop and sprung out of the saddle, running to Meredith's side. He knelt down next to her huddled form in the grass. She was face down and her shoulders were shaking. Thinking she was crying because she was hurt, he gently rolled her over onto her back, to make sure that she was alright. He smiled down at her, when he realized that she wasn't crying, but laughing. Her face turned red, as the giggles would not stop and she was gasping for air. Derek pulled her into a hug.

"Meri, are you alright?" Derek asked her, stroking her back.

"Yes, I'm fine," Meredith said between giggles. Derek pulled away from her and started to examine her arms and legs, having to make sure that she really was alright.

"Derek, I'm fine, really I am," she said, pushing his hands away.

"I'm not letting you get back on that horse. We're walking back."

"Derek, you can't keep me from getting back on Artemis. She didn't do it on purpose. The rabbit scared her."

"Just do this for me. I want to keep you safe and I can't if you're on the horse."

"Derek, I'm a big girl. I can handle a horse; I proved that to you today. You don't have to be so protective of me."

"Stand up then," Derek said, as he stood and retrieved Artemis, who had stopped a few feet off. Meredith winced, as a shooting pain went through her ankle when she stood. She bit her lip as she walked over to Artemis, limping slightly.

Noticing this, Derek said, "No, I am not letting you get back on this horse. You are hurt."

"I just twisted my ankle, Derek. It's nothing. It'll work itself out."

"No, I refuse to let you back on this horse and I refuse to let you walk," Derek insisted.

"Then how am I going to get back?" Meredith asked, placing her hands on her hips.

Derek looked at her and then looked at the horses. He pulled the reins over Apollo's head and tied them to Meredith's saddle. He then walked back over to Meredith and lifted her up in his arms.

"Put your legs around my waist," Derek commanded. She did as she was told and wrapped her arms around his neck. He put his arm underneath her to hold her up and grabbed Artemis' reins. As the sun sank completely behind the horizon, the odd party set off to complete their trek to the barn.

**I'm sorry, but I can't update anymore until next week. That's why I updated three times today. And since I updated triple the amount of times that I usually do, that means I want triple the number of reviews. A lot of reviews will make me a very happy person when I get home next week.**


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

"Damn!" Derek yelled, as he stumbled into yet another hole.

"Derek, let me walk. You're going to get hurt, too, if you don't."

"I'm fine," Derek said through gritted teeth. "Besides, we're almost back."

"Derek, please. I'm fine."

"Fine, but if you take even one step that isn't stable, I am carrying you again," Derek said, as he set Meredith down again. She ground her teeth, trying as hard as she could to keep her face neutral as her feet hit the ground. It felt like someone was shoving a dagger into her ankle. She tried to step forward, but her ankle gave out under her weight. She let out a small yelp, as she crumpled to the ground. Tears sprang into her eyes, as Derek arms wrapped around her waist and pulled her back up.

"Will you not argue with me now?" Derek said, as he situated her back in his arms. Wrapping one hand around his neck, Meredith brought her free hand up to her face, wiping away the pained tear that had slipped out. Derek walked in silence, as the sky became darker and darker. Something was wrong, Meredith could tell. His mouth was set in a thin line, his brow furrowed, his eyes flashing. But she was too afraid that it was her that was upsetting him. So she continued to allow his to carry her in silence.

After a few more minutes of walking, Meredith heard the faint sound of voices.

"Do you hear that?" she said quietly, in almost a whisper. Derek didn't answer, as the voices grew louder and shaped into actual words.

"It's Preston. He's searching for us. Preston, over here!" Meredith yelled. They could see a lantern bobbing through the field and moments later, Preston ran up to them.

"There you are! Christina and I have been worried sick," Preston said, as he gasped for air.

"I have never been so glad to see a stable hand in my life," Derek exclaimed.

"What happened?" Preston asked, noticing the odd way that they had been walking.

"Artemis spooked at a rabbit and I fell off. I hurt my ankle, so Derek insisted that he carry me," Meredith explained, as Preston took the horses from Derek. His other hand free, Derek moved his other arm under Meredith as well, cradling her. The flickering light of Preston's lantern guided their way back to the house that Meredith and Derek longed for.

* * *

Her nimble hands slowly wound the cloth around her ankle, her touch cooling the swollen flesh. Meredith cringed, as Christina tied off the bandage.

"This is the best I can do for tonight. A doctor will need to see to you tomorrow," Christina said, as she cleaned up the small table next to the bed.

"No," Meredith exclaimed, "I cannot have a doctor examine me."

"What is this sudden dislike in doctors?" Christina asked Meredith, looking at her out of the corner of her eye.

"There is no sudden dislike in doctors. The problem is any doctor that comes is surely to know my father, since we spent so much time here, and seeing Derek here would send thousands of rumors flying."

"I cannot imagine that every doctor in the state of Massachusetts knows your father. What is the real reason?"

Meredith shifted her eyes to the floor and twisted her nightgown in her hands.

"What are you avoiding?" Christina asked, as she moved closer to Meredith. Meredith turned her eyes up to her, tears of fear and shame brimming in her eyes.

"I…I…I'm pregnant."

The sound of porcelain shattering rang through the room, as the pitcher Christina had been holding crashed to the floor. Water spread over the floor and Christina dropped to her knees, picking up the shattered pieces and mopping up the water with her apron. She then returned to her feet, placing the pieces on the table, avoiding Meredith's gaze, as tears spilled down her face.

"Is there nothing you will say to me, nothing that could ease this burden weighing on my heart so?"

"Does Derek know?" Christina asked, an icy edge in her voice.

"No."

"Are you going to tell him?"

"I was not planning on doing it soon, but it will become evident soon and he will insist upon knowing whether or not the child is his."

"How are you going to cover this up? You obviously can't tell anyone that the child is Derek's."

"I don't know, Christina. I have avoided thinking of the future since I found out."

"Which was when?"

"A week ago."

"Do you know when the child was conceived?"

"No. I can only guess that is was four or five weeks ago."

Christina ran a hand through her tousled hair, while heaving a sigh.

"I cannot believe that you would do something so rash. You know that this was a very likely outcome to your relations with Mr. Sheperd, but yet you never stopped."

"Christina…" Meredith began, but Christina cut her off with a raised hand.

"I used to admire you. You seemed so independent, so strong. But now you have proven to me that you are nothing more than all of those other shallow women in that vile city that we live in." With this, Christina stormed out of the room, leaving Meredith in stunned silence.

As Christina shut the door behind her, she looked over to see Derek leaning against the wall, his expression pained and confused. The pained look on his face was met by a cold glare from Christina. She turned on her heel and walked down the hallway, leaving Derek to the thoughts that were wrestling in his head.

"She's pregnant," screamed the voice inside his head. "She's pregnant and she wasn't going to tell me." Slamming his fist against the wall, he staggered down the hall.

Meredith jumped to her feet, as the sound of someone hitting the wall resounded through the room. She ran to the door and flung it open, just in time to see Derek's back disappear down the stairs. She limped out of the room, trying to catch up with him.

"Derek!" she yelled after him. "Derek, please wait!"

"Why should I?" Derek yelled, as he turned back to glare at her. "You weren't going to tell me you are pregnant with my child!"

"Derek, I was, I honestly was. Just not now and not like this."

"Why should I believe you?"

"You're right. You have no real reason to believe me. Except for the fact that I love you."

"You love me? If you truly love me, why weren't you going to tell me?"

"Because this could ruin you. I have already accepted my own ruin, but I will not stand by and watch yours, knowing that I caused it. Derek, you will lose everything if anyone ever knows that this child is yours."

"I don't care about that anymore. All I care about is you. But if you feel that you have to lie to me and hide things as big as this from me, I don't know if this, us, is worth it anymore."

"Derek, please don't say that. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Please, please don't leave me."

"Meredith, I can't do this right now. I just need some space," Derek said, as he continued down the stairs and walked out the door, slamming it behind him. Meredith sank to the floor, drawing her knees up to her chest and burying her head in her hands. She sat there for a few moments, trying to figure out how to put together all of the pieces of her life that lay broken at her feet.

* * *

The toe of Derek's shoe connected with the wooden groom box, sending the brushes flying through the air. The sudden noise brought many of the horses to the front of their stalls, their heads turned towards him. Derek walked over to Artemis and placed his hand on her head, gazing into her chocolate eyes.

"How did we go from joy and fun this morning to deceit and pain now?" Derek asked the inquisitive animal as he scratched her neck. He continued to stand there, not noticing Preston walking up behind him. "It's like I don't know her anymore. But I guess I never did in the first place."

Preston cleared his throat and Derek spun on his heel to face him.

"Oh, Preston, it's you," Derek said, relief passing over his face.

"Yes, sir," Preston replied, surveying the damage that Derek had done to the groom box.

"I'm sorry about that," Derek said as he noticed his gaze. "I guess my frustration got the better of me."

"If I'm not being too bold, may I ask what that frustration is about. I may not be your top choice for advice, but I may be able to help," Preston asked, while picking up the brushes.

"Everything is just so complicated," Derek groaned, leaning against the stall door. "It would take much too long to explain."

"I don't have to go anywhere. You might as well tell me."

"Well, let me just ask you a question first: what do you think is my relation with Meredith?"

"When you first arrived, I thought you were just a close friend. Meredith has never shown any real interest in a man, so I didn't really think you could be anything more. But then when I saw you in the barn and when I came out to find you, I knew it was something more. I have never seen her look at anyone the way she looks at you and she's finally opened up after her mother and sister died for the first time, because of you. But my question for you is what exactly are you to her?"

"This is where things get complicated," Derek said. "We met right after she arrived in New York. She came to the ball that my family was throwing to celebrate the announcement of my engagement, to another woman. I was so upset because my father had arranged the marriage in order to further his business and Meredith was my escape. But it turned into something much more. We ended up sneaking around in order to see each other. I even snuck into her house one night and slept with her in her father's study. But it wasn't just the sex; it turned into love, a deeper love than I have ever felt in my life. But complications have just kept piling up. First, she got engaged to my best friend. And I just found out that she's pregnant with my child and she wasn't planning on telling me."

"Wow," Preston said.

"That's an extremely simple way to put it," Derek said with contempt in his voice.

"I' m sorry, you just caught me by surprise. I grew up with Meredith. I just can't imagine the tomboy that I used to play with in the fields has gotten involved in such treachery."

"I guess we have weaved a tangled web," Derek admitted, heaving a sigh.

Preston stood there, looking at him, trying to figure out what would be best to say.

"Are you going to say anything, or are you just going to continue standing there, staring at me?"

"Do you love her?"

"More than life itself."

"Then what is the problem?"

"She still feels like she has to hide things from me. She just keeps saying 'It's not your burden to bear' over and over."

"Have you made her feel safe, made her feel like she can open up to you?"

"Yes. There is nothing that I have done to not make her trust me." His face dropped, as the realization hit him like a boulder. "I yelled," he groaned.

"When?"

"A week ago. I had just found out that she was engaged to my best friend and my anger got the best of me. I yelled, saying that she was betraying me. We argued and she threw me out, but before I could leave… Oh my god, the baby. She collapsed, that must have hurt the baby. And the fall today. I have to go!" Derek yelled over his shoulder, as he ran out of the barn and back to the house. He bounded up the stairs and ran into her room. She lay on her bed with her back turned towards him. He stopped in the doorway, just staring at her beautiful form.

"How's your ankle?" he asked quietly.

"Fine," she murmured, not turning to look at him. He walked over so that he was standing next to the bed. She looked at him out of the corner of her eye, but still refused to look at him. He watched as she moved her hand protectively over her stomach and a light smile toyed at his mouth. He moved to sit next to her and laid his hand over hers. She reluctantly turned her head and stared into his worried blue eyes.

"Is the baby alright?" Derek choked out, worry creasing his forehead.

"I don't know, Derek. I hope so, but I just don't know" she whispered, as a small tear trickled down her cheek.

"It will be fine," he murmured, wiping away the tear with his thumb. They sat in silence for a few moments, until Derek's face became constricted with anxiety once again. "What are we going to do?"

"I can stay here. No one will ever have to know if I stay here."

"But what about Mark? And I can't stand the thought of never being able to see you."

"I don't know, Derek. I can hide it for a little while, but there's is only so much fabric that can be sown into a dress. And people will get suspicious if I suddenly start wearing large dresses."

"What about a doctor?"

"We'll have to get a doctor that won't say anything, which would probably require a larger payment."

"Will you have the baby in New York?"

"I don't know, Derek. That's so far off."

"People are going to think you're a w. And I can't stand that," Derek said, rage coming over his face at the thought.

"Do you think Mark would claim the baby as his?"

"I'm sure he would. He does know about us. But that would soil your marriage in the eyes of society before you are even married."

"That's the only way that wouldn't ruin all of us. It's what we will have to do."

"Let's not trouble ourselves with this trying matter anymore. This is our escape. So now we shall forget the possibilities of the future and just enjoy our time together," Derek whispered into her ear, as he laid down next to her and rubbed his hand over her stomach.

**Hi! I'm FallInotTheGrey's friend Nadine Dawson from the Titanic boards, she asked me to post this chapter and so here I am! I hope that ya'll will review this for her because I know that will make sure smile when she returns home. Thank you!**


	12. Chapter 12

**Hello everyone! I am sorry for not updating in eight months, but I lost all of my inspiration to write it, started writing other things, and completely forgot about it. But my inspiration has returned and so, we have a new chapter. Updates won't come quickly because I am in school, but I promise there will not be another eight month gap.**

**Disclaimer: All of these characters belong to Shonda.**

**Please, read, review, and enjoy Chapter 12 of Beautiful Treachery**

The din of hundreds of conversations filled the room, as women greeted friends and gossiped behind fans, men talked of their hunting trips, and men and women shared timid laughs. Derek glanced around the room, trying to forget the woman who hung on his arm. Addison flipped her hair and laughed at a joke left unsaid, her dancing eyes looking upon him. He avoided her gaze, much to her dismay. Instead, his eyes remained trained on the front door, waiting, watching for her. His eyes flicked over to the side and realized, with increasing anger, that someone else was watching for her, too.

Mark stood close to the door, his hands awkwardly shoved into his pockets. He periodically glanced out the window, down to the street lined with waiting carriages, but not the one he was looking for. His eyes dropped to the floor and he nervously shuffled his feet, as women walked arm in arm past him and whispered behind gloved hands. He peeked over at Derek, but seeing the glare coming from his best friend, the steel blue eyes quickly fell to his shoes. The polished black carriage that glided to a stop outside caught his eye and he breathed a sigh of relief as he watched her step gracefully out of the carriage. She walked slowly up the way and was invited in by a maid, who took her outerwear. Mark rushed over to Meredith, quickly taking her arm, and Meredith smiled warmly at him.

"Hello Mr. Sloan," she said gaily, as they started to walk about the room.

"Hello Miss Grey. I hope you are well," Mark replied, his eyes twinkling as he studied her face.

"I am quite well," Meredith answered, loud enough so Derek could hear. She cast a fleeting glance in his direction and watched as his shoulders visibly relaxed. Turning her gaze back to Mark, "I hope you are as well."

"Indeed I am," Mark said, as they moved past Derek and Addison. He placed his hand over hers and squirmed as he felt Derek's angry gaze bore into his back. He attempted to cover his discomfort, but his relaxed smile appeared to be more of a forced grimace. He turned his head slightly and steel blue met dark, stormy blue and quickly turned back to Meredith, unable to bear the weight of those eyes.

He turned her gently into one of the drawing rooms, away from most of the party, with the exception of two young girls just breaking into the workings of New York society sitting on a settee covered in black velvet. Seeing two of the people they spent hours gossiping about, they hastened out of the room, trying to hide their crimson cheeks behind their fans.

Finding themselves alone, Mark removed his hand from her elbow and gestured to the settee the girls had vacated. Meredith situated herself daintily as Mark took up a high backed chair across from her.

"How was your trip to Massachusetts?" Mark asked, looking into her sea green eyes.

Heat started to rise to Meredith's cheeks at that question. She looked down at her hands, folded in her lap. "It was… nice," she finally replied, her eyes meeting his briefly. Her arm folded over her stomach, concealed by many layers of fabric. Much to her horror and delight, she had discovered that a small, but still noticeable bump had formed there a few days before. She glanced down at it quickly, before looking back up at Mark. "It was so nice to get away from the city for awhile. The monotony of this place becomes so tiring."

"I know exactly what you mean," Mark said, smiling at her. She smiled back, but the smile turned sour as a wave of nausea hit her. She could feel the color drain from her face as she gripped the arm of the settee and she knew that Mark noticed by the sudden gravity of his face. Meredith glanced down at her stomach and fought the urge to curse the child growing there, as she tried to not heave there in the drawing room of the Torres' mansion.

"Mark, I have something I need to tell you," she said quietly as she pressed her hands to her temples, trying to clear her head. He leaned forward and looked at her in earnest. "I am not feeling well, but if you will accompany me home, I will tell you there."

He nodded once and helped her to her feet, placing a protective hand around her waist as she wobbled out of the room. All eyes turned to them as they walked up to Calliope Torres, the host of the luncheon, including Derek's. Worry etched lines into his face as he watched them talk to her, Mark's face worried also and Meredith's, incredibly pale and sickly.

"Miss Torres," Mark started, "regrettably, Miss Grey is not feeling well and, due to her state, I will be accompanying her on her trip home. We are deeply sorry we cannot stay for your luncheon."

"Oh, that is quite alright, Mr. Sloan. I hope you feel better soon, Miss Grey," Calliope answered, touching her hand lightly to Meredith's shoulder. Meredith smiled weakly and the two turned toward the door. The maid retrieved Meredith's things and Mark helped her into her cloak and guided her out the door. Derek's worried eyes watched them leave and he fought the urge to run after her, to make sure she was alright. He stared after them long after they left, completely oblivious to the exasperated Addison standing next to him.

* * *

Meredith pressed her face to the cold glass, praying that the sickness would leave before she was placed in a compromising position in front of her fiancé. Mark sat across from her, watching her every move with concerned eyes. She glanced apologetically at him before leaning forward and placing her head between her knees. He reached his hand tentatively out to her, gripping her sweating hand in his and rubbing slow circles in the back of it. He moved over to sit next to her and slowly kneaded at the large knot in her shoulders. Within moments, the knot in her shoulders released and soon after, the knot in her stomach did as well. She slowly sat back up and smiled weakly at him, as he placed his hand back in his lap.

"Did you catch some illness while on your vacation?" Mark asked, noticing still how pale she looked.

"That's what I need to talk to you about," Meredith replied, unable to look him in the eye. "Could we wait until we arrive back at the house? It's something that should not be discussed in a carriage."

"Yes, of course," Mark said, apprehension darkening his face. They rode the rest of the way in silence, never looking at each other, letting the silence envelope them in anxiety and fear.

The carriage finally pulled up to the house, its cab rocking precariously. Meredith gripped the door handle, as the rocking motion sent her stomach reeling again. She quickly pushed down the handle, rushing past a bewildered Spencer and up to the mansion. Mark watched her run away from him and tried to follow close behind. Meredith flung open the door and dashed up the stairs, leaving Mark standing in the foyer with a surprised Thatcher Grey.

Thatcher tore his eyes away from the stairs that Meredith was pounding up and turned to Mark. "What happened?" he asked.

"She began to feel ill while at the luncheon, so I accompanied her home. It appears that the sickness has gotten the better of her," Mark replied, listening for sounds of Meredith upstairs, but feeling ashamed for doing so. He should not have even been there, let alone listening for signs as to whether or not his fiancée was getting sick upstairs. He stood there awkwardly in the foyer with Thatcher for a few more minutes and watched maids rush up and down the stairs, fetching towels and water. Things must not have been good.

Several minutes later, Meredith emerged from the bathroom and walked slowly down the stairs, leaning heavily on the railing.

"Darling, are you alright?" Thatcher asked when she reached them.

"Yes, I'm fine," Meredith replied, smiling weakly. "Mark and I are just going to go into the parlor and discuss some wedding details. You can go back to your work."

"Alright," Thatcher said before pressing a kiss to Meredith's forehead. "But if you begin to feel ill again, I am calling the doctor."

Fear lit Meredith's eyes, try as she might to suppress it. "Oh, I'm sure I'll be fine, Father."

He looked at her pale face once more before walking into his study and shutting the door. Meredith walked into the parlor and sat in one of the chairs, Mark following close behind. After sitting down as well, he looked at Meredith in earnest, waiting for this important news. "What is it you needed to tell me?" he urged, after she did not start immediately.

"Mark, there is no easy way for me to tell you this and I pray that you will take it well, but will understand completely if you don't and want to call off the engagement. I certainly would if I were you. I mean, it could be just devastating," Meredith said in a rush, her expression frantic.

Mark reached out a hand and placed it on her arm, forcing her to stop. "Meredith, you're rambling. And you're frantic. Whatever it is, I'm sure I will understand," he said with a smile that made the ice around Meredith's heart melt slightly. She tore her eyes from him and they rested on her slightly protruding stomach.

"Mark, I'm… I'm pregnant," she whispered.

Silence fell over them like a suffocating blanket, as Mark removed his hand from her arm and sat back in his chair. Meredith lifted her tear-rimmed eyes to him and found him just staring at her, his face expressionless. His eyes flashed, but she could not tell what emotion was plaguing him.

"I see," he said as he got up and walked to the window, staring out to the street below.

Meredith lifted unsteadily to her feet and walked over to him, staring at his back. "I am so sorry," she murmured, as she placed her hand on his back. He stepped away from her and her hand fell back to her side. "I know I am nothing better than a whore to you right now and I know that you have absolutely no obligation to answer my request, but I am asking you, I am begging you to stay. Not just for me, but for your best friend and his life, and for my father, and for my child. He or she is going to need a father and, since it can't have its biological father, it should have the next best thing. Please, Mark, don't leave."

He turned back to her, pain shadowing his eyes. "I'm not going to leave," he said gruffly. "We both said when I proposed that this was not a marriage occurring out of love, but business, so I guess I should not be surprised by this. But I don't know how I can love this child as my own when it is not my own, when it is the child of my best friend. If he was someone you and I were never going to see again, it would be easier, but he's Derek. He's the man I see every day. He's the man I would trust with my life. He's the man who trusts his with me. Meredith, I can't look at that child every day and see Derek staring back up at me. I can't claim it as my own when Derek is glaring at me from across the room. I wish I could, but I can't."

"I know," Meredith whispered. "I know. That's why I hate asking this of you. But I have to. All of our lives would be ruined if I didn't."

"Mine wouldn't," Mark said, turning back away. "If I walked away right now, I would emerge completely unscathed."

"I know. I was just hoping you were a better man than that. Mark, we need you."

He frantically ran his hand through his hair, the emotions visibly fighting behind his eyes. He glared down at the street below, at the people passing by in their carriages who did not have to be faced with this torment. Heaving a sigh, he finally turned back to her, taking in her tear streaked face. The emotions broke behind his eyes and a small smile toyed at his lips. "I guess I'm a better man than I thought I was," he said with a chuckle.

A smile lit Meredith's face as she pulled Mark into a hug not usually allowed between a man and woman who weren't married. "Thank you," she cried, as more tears spilled down her face through her smiles. Mark pulled back and wiped the remaining tears from her cheeks with his thumbs.

"We will figure this out. We will figure out some way for Derek to be involved in the child's life. We will figure out a way for me to love the child. We will figure out a way to grow to love each other, even if it is not some passionate love. I will put everything into being your husband, Meredith Grey."

"And I will put everything into being your wife, Mark Sloan," Meredith said with a smile, as she gently kissed his cheek. She led him back to the chair and they sat down, looking at each other with a smile.

"Well, we will need to move the wedding up now," Mark said, leaning back into his chair. He cleared his throat before uncomfortably asking, "Do you know how far along you are?"

"Not for certain, but I am guessing eight to ten weeks. I am starting to show slightly, if that is what you are asking," she said, while placing her arm around her stomach concealed under layers of fabric.

"Then the wedding will have to be soon."

"Yes, I'm afraid it will."

"Have you talked to your father?"

"No!" Meredith said fiercely. "He would have Derek murdered and have me abort the baby and placed in a convent if he knew. He can never know."

"Then do we just tell him we want to be married sooner. He's going to be suspicious if we do that. And if he's not, my father and certainly my mother will be."

"That's the only way. There's nothing else we can say that won't sound even more suspicious."

"I guess you're right," Mark said, running his hand through his hair. "Should we go talk to your father now?"

"I suppose we should," Meredith said, her voice not disguising her dread. She and Mark hesitantly got to their feet and walked to the door of Thatcher's study. Their eyes connected for a moment before Mark rapped on the door. They heard Thatcher's call from within and opened the door. He looked up from his paper, his face lightening at the sight of the two young people.

"Please, come in," he said gaily, gesturing for them to take a seat. "What can I do for you?" he asked, his eyes eagerly flicking from Mark's face to Meredith's.

"Sir, Meredith and I were wondering if we could possibly be married sooner. I know that we agreed on a wedding next spring, but we want to be married sooner," Mark said, wringing his hands.

"Oh, that's wonderful. I didn't think you two had any inkling of affection for each other. It is delightful to hear that I was wrong," he said with a smile. Mark tried to smile warmly at Meredith and she mustered up as much of a loving look as she could. Mark took her hand and gently squeezed it. Much to Meredith delight and slight dismay, it felt very comfortable. "When would you like to be married?"

"As soon as possible," Meredith said eagerly. "Within the next week, if possible. It doesn't have to be a large wedding. I would actually prefer it if it wasn't."

"My, you two are eager," Thatcher chuckled, winking at Mark. He smiled back and Meredith tried to hold down the bile rising in her throat. She had to keep up the charade. "That should not be a problem. I will contact the church tomorrow."

"Thank you, Father," Meredith said, gratefully.

"Yes, thank you, sir," Mark said as well.

"Who should we invite?" Thatcher asked.

"Just close friends," Meredith said. "I don't have many friends since we haven't been here long, only Isobel Stevens, but I don't know her well. Mark, I'm sure there are people you want to invite."

"Yes," he replied. "Um, I would like to invite Derek and Addison will come with him if he does. I would actually like him to be my best man, if that is alright."

"Yes, of course," Meredith said, her eyes falling to the ground. "Isobel can be my maid of honor, unless, Father, you will allow Christina to be it."

"Meredith, she's a maid. She can't be your maid of honor."

"But Father, she is the only true friend I have. After Ann and Mother died, she was the only person I could turn to. Please."

"No, I will not allow it. Just imagine what it will do to us. You're already getting married a whole year before you were originally going to and now you want a maid to be your maid of honor. We would be the laughing stock of Manhattan."

"Fine," Meredith said, resigned. "Isobel Stevens will be my maid of honor."

"Is there anyone else you want to invite?" he asked.

"Well, since Isobel will be coming, Alexander Karev, her fiancé, should come as well. And Calliope Torres has been very kind to me since we came."

"What about your friends from Boston?"

"No," Meredith said quickly. "I have a new life here. I do not want to invite them."

"Fine," Thatcher said, turning to Mark. "What about you, Mark?"

"My entire family will need to come, so that will be my mother, father, three sisters, their husbands, and all of their children. We could also invite Archer Montgomery, Addison's brother. We have gone on several hunting trips together and he has become a close friend."

"I will have a maid send out the invitations tomorrow," Thatcher said. "Will you be getting a dress, Meredith?"

"Actually, I would like to wear Mother's dress, if I could?"

"Absolutely, dear. That would honor her in the utmost way."

"Thank you, Father," Meredith said, a smile lighting her face.

"Is there anything else?" Thatcher asked, his eyes travelling back down to his paper.

"No, that is all," Mark said, as he and Meredith got to their feet. They smiled at him gratefully before walking out of the room. Walking into the foyer, they stopped and turned to each other.

"I must leave now. I have to tell my father," Mark said, as a maid went to fetch his things.

"Thank you for being so understanding, Mark. You have no idea how grateful I am," Meredith said, smiling up at him.

"Like I said, I guess I'm a better man than I thought I was," Mark said, chuckling. "But now I must leave. I will see you at the alter, Miss Grey." Dipping his head to her, he walked out the door and down to his waiting carriage.

* * *

The lace veil fell gently over Meredith's face, masking her terror. Her hair fell in soft curls down her back, as the simple, elegant dress settled around her petite, yet growing, frame. She wrung her hands nervously, as Christina flitted about her. She stared into the mirror, looking into her strained eyes through the lace.

Finally, Christina turned to her, a slight smile on her face. "You're ready," she said, "and beautiful. A beautiful bride."

"Thank you, Christina," Meredith said, getting to her feet and turning to look at her. "I am sorry about everything I have put you through. I never meant for everything to go so far."

"I'm sorry for being so harsh with you. I forgot my place and if I had been working for anyone else, I would have been fired. I can only thank you for that."

"Then all is forgiven?"

"Yes, all is forgiven. Now, it is time for you to go. The march is beginning."

Meredith heaved a sigh as she walked to the door. She found her father waiting outside the door and, taking his arm, they walked slowly down the aisle. All eyes rested on them, making Meredith's stomach turn. She could feel Derek's gaze boring into her, even as she avoided his eyes. She put her eyes only on Mark, the smiling man waiting for her at the head of the church. She reassured herself over and over that this was the right thing to do, that all would be fine, that she was not making a mistake. Her eyes moved from Mark to the stained glass in front of her. The eyes of the saints looked down on her and she sent up silent prayers to them, prayers for deliverance. But before they could answer her pleas, she was to Mark, her father giving her away. The rest of the ceremony passed in a blur, Derek's accusing glances on her face the entire time.

Mark's hands lifted to her veil and he pulled it away, revealing her beautiful face. She smiled warmly at him, as she heard him say "I do."

Her stomach dropped to her feet when the minister turned to her. She breathed deeply through her nose, trying to calm her pounding heart, as she heard him say, "Do you, Meredith Grey, take Mark Sloan to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, for richer and for poorer, in sickness and in health, as long as you both shall live?"

Meredith felt her head begin to swim as those final, condemning words passed from her lips. "I do."

She tried to rustle up a smile as Mark smiled down at her. They clasped hands and carefully slipped the rings onto their fingers. The elegant gold band twinkled up at Meredith, as she tried to hold down the grimace that was quickly forming on her face. She tried to quickly cover it with a smile, as Mark beamed down at her.

"I now pronounce you husband and wife," she heard the minister announce. "You may now kiss the bride."

She tried to keep her focus on Mark as he leaned in toward her, but her eyes flicked back to study Derek's face. His eyes dropped to the floor, his face overtaken by a complete devastated look. She so wanted to rush to him, comfort him, tell him that he was the only one she could ever love, but before she could take that condemning step, her lips were captured by Mark's. His lips moved against hers and she found hers moving with them. She knew that in that warm kiss blew the winds of change, sweeping her away from all that she desired. But as she sank further into the kiss, maybe all that she desired was not lost.

**I'm sure I didn't get all of the details and the order of the wedding ceremony right, but I did not want to put many details into the wedding, only the important things. Once again, I hope you enjoyed it.**


	13. Chapter 13

Meredith's body felt light as she stepped out of the carriage, her hand clasped tightly in Mark's. She looked up in wonder at the mansion ablaze with light before her, the house that was now hers. She looked over at Mark, bewilderment lighting her eyes and a disbelieving smile playing at the edges of her mouth. Mark chuckled at her expression, his eyes crinkling at the corners.

"I've never seen you speechless before. It's almost refreshing," Mark laughed.

Meredith lightly hit him on the shoulder. "Is that any way to talk to your wife?" she said with a smile.

"You're right. That was cruel of me," Mark said, bending his head in false remorse. A mischievous smile came over his face as he looked down at her through his eyelashes. "It was funny, though."

"Let's just get to the party before people begin to wonder where we are," Meredith retorted, pulling him forward. "We wouldn't want people to get the wrong idea."

"Especially Derek," Mark mumbled under his breath, but not soft enough. Meredith winced as a pain attacked her chest. Mark squeezed her hand, a truly remorseful look in his eyes.

They forced smiles onto their faces as Mark pushed the door open. Applause rained over them as they walked in, smiling faces greeting them warmly.

"Here they are, the bride and groom," Mark's father, John, boomed over the din of the crowd. "Everyone, I ask that tonight, you forget the worries of the world and revel in the happiness that surrounds them. In honor of them, dance, drink, and enjoy yourselves."

Meredith's smile turned cold as she watched Derek walk to the front of the room, the place Mark's father had just vacated. What was he going to do?

He cleared his throat, bringing everyone's attention upon him. Fingering his champagne glass, his gaze passed over the crowd and rested on Meredith before he began.

"Ladies and gentlemen, if I may have your attention for a short while longer, I, as the best man, would like to toast the bride and groom. Meredith and Mark, to say that your union was expected would be a lie. Many people in this room, I'm sure, were very surprised to hear that you were getting married and were even more surprised when the wedding date was moved up, myself included. However, despite that, the love and respect you have for each other is evident and we cannot question that your marriage will be one full of happiness and laughter. I wish for you both to come through the problems of life together and hold onto that happiness that bonds you now. To Meredith and Mark."

He knocked the glass back easily, his eyes hardening against Meredith's as tears threatened to suffocate her. Mark forcefully turned her toward him, looking deep into her eyes.

"Don't listen to him. He's just angry at things that he can't control," Mark said soothingly, pulling her into his embrace. "Don't let him ruin the night for you."

"I know I shouldn't, and I know that this is killing him, but he hurts me so much. You saw him up there. He did that on purpose."

"I know he did, and I want to kill him for that. But we mustn't let him drag us down. This is our wedding night and I plan to enjoy it. Will you join me?"

Meredith bit her lip as she looked up at him, her pain not easily disguised. Taking his arm, she let him pull her to the dance floor, the other couples parting the way for them. He took her gently in his arms and they stepped gracefully into the waltz. As they danced, though, everything quickly became sour. Meredith's stomach turned, as a wave of nausea and dizziness hit her. She squeezed her eyes shut as she clung to Mark, trying to force the sickness away. Her breathing became labored as she rested her head on Mark's shoulder, the darkness clutching onto the edges of her mind.

"Mark, I need to sit down," she breathed, as she felt her knees buckle beneath her. Mark swept her up in his arms as a collective gasp came up from the crowd. Thatcher ran from his position on the edge of the crowd, pushing people out of his way.

"What wrong with her?" he demanded.

"The day has finally gotten to her," Mark said nonchalantly, even though fear was causing the hair on the back of his neck to stand on end. "She'll be fine once she lies down for a little while."

Forcing himself to believe his own words, he gently carried Meredith to the drawing room and laid her down on the small settee, stroking her check lovingly. Thatcher propped open the window, letting the cool breeze wash over his sick daughter. Derek appeared in the doorway, worry etching lines into his face.

"Mr. Grey, could you go get Meredith some water? I need a moment to speak with Derek," Mark said forcefully, his eyes flashing with anger.

Looking at Meredith once more, Thatcher complied, leaving a fuming Mark with Derek. His hands clenching into fists, he turned on Derek.

"Is this what you wanted?" he spat.

"You think I would want Meredith to be sick. It is my child," Derek retorted, walking forward and drawing to his full height.

"To see how you act toward her, you do. You are making her feel so guilty about something that she has no control over and that guilt is suffocating her."

"I am making her feel guilty? How am I making her feel guilty?"

"Are you serious? Ever since the engagement was announced, you've been yelling at her and accusing her of some wrong doing even though she had nothing to do with this. This was purely a business matter between my father and her father. She had no say whatsoever."

"Really, and I should believe you why?" Derek asked harshly.

"Because I'm your best friend and I wouldn't lie to you." Derek rolled his eyes. "And because she loves you."

Derek's eyes dropped to his shoes and his shoulders slumped as Mark's words sunk in.

"She doesn't love me. I know she doesn't. She loves you and she loves your baby. That's why she agreed to marry me. She's trying to protect you. She's trying to protect your reputation while risking everything."

"I don't need protection!" Derek shouted. "I need my best friend to divorce the love of my life."

"So you're going to leave Addison then? Your father will just love you for that."

"You know I can't do that."

"Oh, that's right because if you do, no more money and Derek doesn't know how to live on his own."

"You have no right to judge me."

"No, I guess I don't, because Derek is perfect. Derek has no faults. Derek just thinks that he can have everything he wants and doesn't have to face any of the consequences or get out from under Daddy's wing."

"Will you just shut up?"

"No, I won't. Derek, what do you expect Meredith to do? Live the life of a spinster and a single mother cast out of society? Raise that child without a father? Be disowned? Would you rather have her disowned than you? How noble of you! You don't deserve her, you selfish pig. You don't deserve to have any part of her. She is kind, smart, caring, loyal, selfless, everything that you're not. She takes responsibility for her mistakes and puts others before herself. You only worry about what will help you the most. She is everything a woman should be. You're nothing."

"Listen to you, talking about her like you actually care. If I didn't know you better, I would think you were actually falling for her. But you wouldn't do that, would you? Because this is just a business matter, right?"

"I care for her and I want to protect her. That doesn't mean I'm falling for her. I'm just filling the role that has been given to me. Maybe you should try it with Addison?"

"That's what you would like, wouldn't you? I'll go off with Addison so you can have Meredith."

"Derek, you're acting like a child. Grow up and face your responsibilities."

"This is just like you, Mark. You've always wanted everything I have and now you have the nerve to lecture me. You have no right to get all righteous with me because you should really act out what you preach."

"I am. I'm growing up; I'm taking responsibility. I actually have a job. I'm providing for myself and my wife. I'm not running away from my marriage. And I'm taking care of your child. Do you think I want to do that? Do you think that I want to claim that child as my own when it's actually my best friend's? Derek, this, this whole thing, is not my choice, but I'm not complaining about it and trying to find ways around it like a schoolboy. You need to do the same, unless you want to ruin your life as well as the lives of everyone around you. I will get Meredith away from you before you can do any more harm to her, though. I swear on my life I will."

"You can't do that! She can make her own choices," Derek seethed, glaring at Mark.

"Like hell, I can't! I'm her husband, if you haven't noticed. It's my job to protect her and that means keeping her away from you before you kill her and her child," Mark yelled.

"So now you're the noble gentleman. Just wait. You won't be saying the same thing when you're screwing some whore in a few days. You don't care about her. Stop pretending that you do!"

"I care about her more than you do!"

"How dare you!"

"Derek, get out of my house! You can't be here any longer!"

"You can't throw me out!" Derek screamed.

"Watch me!" Mark yelled, as his fist connected with Derek's jaw. The impact sent him sprawling to the floor, as blood started to trickle from his lip. Brushing the blood away and looking at it in disbelieve, he looked back up at Mark. His eyes flashing with malice, he jumped back to his feet and flew at Mark, pushing him back to the wall. Derek sent blows flying into his stomach and face, blood spouting from his wounds.

Before Derek could inflict anymore damage, Thatcher, John, and William came running in and pulled them apart.

"What is wrong with you two?" William screamed, as he and Thatcher pulled a seething Derek across the room.

"We just had a disagreement," Mark growled, as he sat down in the chair next to Meredith's still form.

"You're acting like children, fighting over some stupid argument," John said, as he rested his hand on Mark's shoulder.

"That's what I've been trying to tell Derek all evening," Mark retorted, glaring at him.

"Yes, which is exactly why you started the fight," Derek said sarcastically, blood from his hand dripping onto the white carpet.

"Only because you wouldn't leave when I told you to," Mark replied, bruises already forming on his face.

"Derek, just let it go. Get up. We're leaving," William demanded as he pulled his son up out of the chair. Turning to Mark, he said, "I'm sorry for my son's actions. He had no right to ruin your wedding night."

"It's alright, Mr. Shepherd. He was not completely at fault. I did hit him first," Mark replied, smiling sheepishly up at him. Still holding his son under the arm, William marched out of the mansion.

"Mark," a weak voice sounded from behind. He turned quickly, dropping next to his new wife and taking her hand in his. She gazed up at him with glassy eyes, a slight smile on her face.

"Darling, are you alright?" Mark asked, gently stroking her cheek.

"Just a little woozy," she said with a breathy laugh. "What kind of bride faints at her own wedding?"

"Only the most beautiful one," Mark murmured as he pressed a kiss to her forehead.

She pressed her cool, clammy fingers to the rapidly forming bruise on his forehead. "What happened? Was I really out long enough for you to get into a fight?"

"Unfortunately, yes," Mark sighed. "But he's gone now. And I look worse than he does."

"That's too bad. Hit him a little hard next time."

Mark chuckled, his eyes dancing in the dim firelight. "I'll be sure to do that."

"Meredith, are you alright?" Thatcher asked as he returned with a glass of water, concern darkening his face. He took the seat on the other side of her and handed her the water.

After taking a grateful drink, Meredith turned to him, saying, "I'm fine. I just got overheated and dizzy. This dress is very heavy."

"Do you think you could manage one more dance, dear?" Mark asked, squeezing her hand. "I would like one full dance with my bride before we retire."

Meredith colored at his words, trying to forget about what was to come. She accepted his hand as she shakily rose to her feet.

They emerged into the ballroom to applause and words whispered behind clapping hands. She tried to ignore their eyes as Mark pulled her into his arms and the orchestra began a new song.

"Just hold onto me. I'll get you through this," Mark murmured as he gently guided her into a waltz. She gripped his shoulder, her knuckles turning white. A faint sheen developed on her forehead as she tried to keep herself steady through the seemingly unending turns. Mark pulled her closer to him, pulling her arms up so they interlocked behind his neck.

"What are you doing?" she hissed under her breath, aware of all of the scandalized glances. No one danced that close.

"Making sure you don't pass out on me again. Put your head on my chest and close your eyes. Don't even think about moving. I'll move for you."

She looked at him quizzically, about to protest, but the look in his eyes told her that any such protest would fall on deaf ears. Doing as he told, she rested her head on his chest, closing her eyes and letting him guide her. She relaxed into his embrace, pressing up against him. It felt almost right, as if she could really imagine spending her life with this man who held her.

But her slightly protruding belly brought her back to reality. How could she ever be Mark's wife when she was pregnant with his best friend's child? How could she be his wife when the wedding night that was supposed to be his had already been taken? Shame suddenly threatened to choke her as tears pricked at her eyes. She sent up a silent prayer of thanks when the song finally ended. "Can we leave now?" she whispered in Mark's ear.

Seeing her tear-rimmed eyes, Mark's expression quickly turned to one of concern, flicking quickly down to her growing stomach. "Of course," he whispered back. "Do you need a doctor?"

"No, I'm just very tired."

"Let me just go speak to my father briefly," he said, starting to let go of her hand. But she tightened her grasp.

"If you let go of me now, I might fall."

Nodding, he guided her through the room to where their fathers were sitting, drinking out of tumblers of whiskey and laughing at their success. They seemed almost hesitant to look up to the newlyweds, they were so engrossed in their revelry.

"I hope all of that nastiness with Shepherd has been forgotten," John chortled, his eyes bloodshot already.

"Oh, yes, just a minor dispute," Mark shrugged. "A business disagreement."

"You're telling me he's in business now?"

"No; that was the disagreement."

The two older men roared. "My dear boy, I can already tell you shall be a wonderful son-in-law," Thatcher slurred, clapping Mark on arm. "And how are you feeling, darling?"

"Much better now, thank you, father," Meredith said meekly, staring at her feet.

"Wonderful. Wouldn't want you to be ill on your wedding night," John exclaimed. Meredith's cheeks flamed and she wished the ground would open up and swallow her.

"That was actually what we wanted to talk to you," Mark interjected smoothly. "Meredith is feeling quite tired, and I am rather weary myself. Would it be improper for us to duck out already?"

John surveyed them seriously for a moment. "If you can't manage one more dance," he began, before breaking into a smile, "who am I to forestall the wedding night joys? Even though we're old men, we have not forgotten that the true wedding celebrations start after the music has ended."

"I have taken the liberty of reserved a room at the Plaza for you two. I didn't figure you would want to stay here until all of the revelers had departed," Thatcher added with a wink. "Christina is waiting there with your things, Meredith."

"Thank you, father," Meredith said, leaning down to kiss him on the check.

Catching her hand, Thatcher added, "Your mother and sister would have been so proud to see you today. You are so beautiful, my angel, and I love you."

"I love you too, father," Meredith replied, tears glistening in her eyes.

Giving her hand a squeeze, he said, "Don't let the nostalgia of an old man keep you two any longer."

Taking Mark's hand again, they began to weave their way towards the door. But they should have known that their exit wouldn't be that easy.

"Leaving so soon?" came a chiding voice behind them. They turned to find Addison flanked by three or four other socialites. "Someone must be eager to leave after only a couple of dances. Meredith, you haven't even thrown your bouquet yet."

Meredith plastered a fake smile on her face. "Of course, how could I have forgotten? I know you're ready to go, Mark," she said with a laugh, pressing a light kiss to his lips, "but I must throw my bouquet first."

"Do it quickly, my love," he teased, kissing her cheek.

"You heard my husband," Meredith called. "All the ladies, gather around." Addison tried to shuffle to the back of the crowd, but Meredith wouldn't have that. "Where are you going, Addison?"

"Well, I'm already going to be married-"

"But you're not married yet, so join the group," Meredith interrupted, dazzling the red head with her best fake smile. With a huff, Addison took her place, right at the front of the group. Meredith turned around, winking at Mark.

"One, two," she called, before bending slightly back so she could see her target. At the call of "three," she threw to flowers, squarely into Addison's face. Grabbing Mark's hand before Addison could start fuming, they ran out of the mansion, down the stairs, and into the waiting carriage, barely containing their giggles. Only when the carriage door was closed and they were rolling their way towards the Plaza did their peals of laughter erupt.

"Did you really just hit Addison in the face with your bouquet?" Mark asked when he could finally speak again, his cheeks flushed.

"I didn't mean to, I swear," Meredith tried to say with a straight face, but a smile tugged relentlessly at the corner of her mouth.

"Right, just like I didn't mean to hit Derek in the face with my fist."

Meredith tried her hardest to look scandalized, but the sparkle in Mark's steel blue eyes started her laughing again. As her sides began to ache, she realized that though she may never love Mark the way she loved Derek, she was already fond of him. Perhaps that would be enough.

Moving over to sit next to him, she folded his hand between hers and laid her head on his shoulder. Looking out at the city, she certainly hoped it would be enough. For her and for him.

* * *

_Despite the short notice, the Grey-Sloan wedding was the social event of the season. It seems that even with only two weeks to prepare, the reigning financial master of the city and the relative newcomer who has already set the stock market on its toes can band together to throw one of the largest parties this reporter has seen in years. _

_The ceremony itself was private, with only family and select friends in attendance, but the reception seemed to be open to anyone who's anyone. Guests were arriving far after the bride and groom had already departed for the Plaza, even though they did leave rather hastily, blushing and playful as newlyweds are wont to be. _

_But Mr. and Mrs. Sloan were present long enough to take part in most of the rather scandalous moments of the evening. After a rather forced speech from best man Derek Shepherd, the couple took to the floor for their first dance that was ended abruptly when Meredith fainted. Swept up in her husband's arms, she was rushed into a drawing room, the whole crowd watching in shock. _

_Mrs. Sloan did not emerge for rather some time, but this reporter did see a fuming Derek Shepherd escorted out by his father, sporting a black eye and bloody lip. One can only assume there was some sort of altercation between long time friends Mark and Derek when Mark reemerged with his pale bride wearing a similar black eye. _

_But the scandal didn't end there. The couple graced the crowd with one last dance, but not without leaving the lookers-on a bit uncomfortable. While one could innocently assume that their stance was simply meant to support Meredith as she recovered from her fainting spell, their intimate embrace left little to the imagination of what was to come when the two arrived at their Plaza hotel room. Their quick departure as soon as the song ended confirmed what everyone was thinking: these two were ready to embark on their honeymoon. _

_Mrs. Sloan did not fail to forget the famous tradition of throwing her bouquet, though. Giving her impatient new husband a quick but tender kiss, she left the flowers fly—straight into the face of one Addison Montgomery. This reporter certainly loves seeing the noted red head flustered and this moment certainly didn't disappoint. The two lovebirds were out the door before they could see the fall out, but it was certainly entertaining. _

_The rest of the night was characterized by the typical drunken shenanigans of these kinds of events, leaving this reporter to moon on the departed lovers, so happy and obviously enthralled with each other. No one at that party will be surprised if the announcement of a coming bundle of joy ignites the gossip chains of the city in just a few months. _

_With one highly anticipated wedding already over much earlier than anyone expected, we are left to look forward to the Montgomery-Shepherd wedding set for this fall. But I hardly think it could top the extravagance or the entertainment of the Grey-Sloan wedding. Not when Mr. Shepherd could barely bring himself to look at his fiancé all night. Something tells me there may be more than just trouble in paradise for those two. Maybe Derek can get some tips from Mark for how to build a happy marriage, because the former most eligible bachelor of New York City seems to excelling at his new job as doting husband. _

_-The Manhattan Tattler_


	14. Chapter 14

_**Hello everyone! There really is no excuse for why I haven't updated this in so long, but I'm going to stick with the excuse that I lost what I had written when I changed computers and didn't really have the energy to rewrite it until now. But I'm determined to finish this soon, hopefully within the summer. So welcome to those of you who are new to this whirlwind of a story and welcome back to those who stowed this in favorite or alert lists years ago and are shocked that I'm still alive. **_

**_Disclaimer: I own nothing. I have written this purely for my own enjoyment and thought I would share something that I love with you._**

**_Please, enjoy and review. _**

* * *

Mark pushed open the door of their hotel room, looking back at his new bride. "One last tradition to honor," he said with a smile, before sweeping Meredith up in his arms.

"What are you doing?" Meredith yelped as she clutched at his shoulders.

"Carrying you across the threshold. That's what the groom is supposed to do, isn't it?"

"Across the threshold of our house, not our hotel room."

"Well, I couldn't very well do that in front of all of Manhattan, could I?" he said as he walked into the sitting room and deposited Meredith on the plush settee.

"I suppose not," Meredith conceded, suddenly becoming very self-conscious as she looked around the room. The sitting room doubled as a small dining room, with a table for two pulled up in front of a fireplace. The fire roared, chasing off the chill in the spring evening air. Short hallways led to suites on either side of the sitting room, even though the suite to the left only included a dressing room and bathroom. The bedroom connected to the right suite, Mark's suite. That would make sleeping arrangements interesting, Meredith thought to herself, chewing on her lip.

"Meredith," Mark started, but was interrupted by Christina's entrance from the left suite.

"Miss, I have all of your things ready if you would like to change now," Christina stated plainly, avoiding looking at either of them.

"Go take a bath, change, do whatever you need to do," Mark said, helping her to her feet. "I'll order some dinner. Meet me here whenever you're ready."

"Thank you, Mark," Meredith sighed, following Christina into the dressing room. Flickering candlelight and a warm bath sprinkled with rose petals greeted her in the bathroom. She gratefully shed her shoes that had been pinching her toes since that morning and filled her lungs with a generous breath as Christina loosened her corset and removed the heavy dress, pulling the layers of tulle and lace off of her small body. She stepped into the water, letting the warm water caress her aching muscles. She slid down in the water until it reached her chin, her golden hair fanning out around her. Placing her hands on her growing stomach, she closed her eyes and leaned her head back, trying to ignore the growing knot in her stomach.

After what seemed like only moments, Christina entered with a large white towel. "Mr. Sloan wanted me to tell you that your supper has arrived."

"Of course," Meredith murmured, stepping lithely out of the bathtub and into the waiting towel. As she dried off, Christina retrieved her nightclothes. As with everything else, no expense had been spared on her nightgown. The silk and lace nightgown was detailed with small seed pearls around the neckline, which dipped generously on her growing cleavage. The gown gathered at her waist and dropped to the floor, trailing slightly behind her. She pulled the matching robe on over the gown and sat at the dressing table while Christina dressed her hair, pulling it back into a loose chignon. Staring at her pale face and large eyes in the mirror, Meredith bit at her lips and reached up to pinch her cheeks, hoping to put some color back into her face. Christina observed her alarmed look and shaking hands as she moved her hands deftly through Meredith's hair.

"Are you alright, Meredith?" she asked quietly.

"I'm fine," Meredith said a little too forcefully, earning a raised eyebrow from Christina. "I'm just nervous, I guess."

"Mr. Sloan is a fine gentleman. I'm sure he will be a loving husband."

"Yes, I'm sure he will be," Meredith affirmed, her eyes dropping to her shaking hands in her lap. Without any further conversation, Meredith rose and placed a hand on Christina's arm, giving her a slight smile before exiting into the sitting room.

Mark sat facing the fire, still in his dress pants and shirtsleeves. He had removed his bowtie, opened the top few buttons of his shirt, and rolled up his sleeves, revealing toned forearms. Meredith blushed slightly, embarrassed that she was ogling him. Even though, she supposed that she was allowed, now that they were married.

She padded lightly up to the table, startling him as she reached the table.

"Woman, you move like a cat," he chuckled as he lifted to his feet, now fleeting fear dilating his pupils, making his eyes even darker in the shadows from the firelight.

"Sorry," she murmured, sinking into the seat that he pulled out for her. She kept her eyes trained on the meal before them, a generous pork loin with vegetables and roasted potatoes. A chilled bottle of champagne sat on the table as well, with strawberries dipped in chocolate in a silver dish next to it.

"The champagne was courtesy of my father, the strawberries of my sisters."

"I guess you'll be enjoying those."

"You can have the strawberries-"

"I'm allergic."

"Oh," he stated blankly, "I guess I will be, then. Do you want me to order you another dessert?"

"No, I'm fine," she muttered, picking up her utensils and started to cut her meat into tiny pieces. She just needed to keep her hands moving.

Ten minutes later, the pork was cut up into as many pieces as it could be and she had started onto the green beans and potatoes. Mark, having already finished, observed her over a glass of champagne.

"You don't need to pulverize your food, you know? You can just say you're not hungry. Even though I will object to that since I know you haven't eaten today. That can't be healthy, for you or…" He trailed off.

"Are you going to force me to eat, doctor?" she tried to say lightly, but her voice wavered.

"No, but I will ask you forcefully. At least take a few bites. I don't want you passing out on me again. If you do, I will call an actual doctor."

Fear lit Meredith's eyes. "Please, don't do that," she pleaded.

"Meredith, I'm kidding," he quickly said, grasping her trembling hand in his. "Just eat something, please."

She conceded, shoving a few bites of food into her mouth. She forced herself to swallow around the lump in her throat. Mark watched each bite she took, making her feel like a child with a hovering nurse again. When she couldn't eat anymore, she looked up at him. "Have I eaten enough for you now, husband?" she asked with a distinct sharpness in her voice that he chose to ignore. They had both had a long day.

"Let's go to bed," he said softly, rising to his feet and walking towards the bedroom. Meredith took in a shaky breath and followed him.

A smaller fire lit the bedroom, decorated in soft pink and beige tones. A large bed was pushed against the far wall, surrounded by a canopy. A larger version of the plush settee in the sitting room sat against the opposite wall. A small sitting area stood near the fireplace.

Mark gestured towards the bed. "Go ahead and make yourself comfortable. I'm going to change." With that, he walked into the bathroom and shut the door behind him.

This was it, she thought. She hadn't thought Mark would expect her to sleep with him, especially with her being pregnant with Derek's child. She had thought that he would be disgusted with her, that this night wouldn't happen until after the child was born, if it ever happened at all.

But she couldn't forget his reputation as the most eligible bachelor in Manhattan. She supposed that he had expectations.

Squaring her shoulders, she untied her robe, letting it fall and pool at her feet. She was just pulling the blankets back when Mark reemerged in his undershirt and drawers, the tight material outlining every defined muscle on his chest and legs. He walked over to the other side of the bed and slipped under the covers, keeping his eyes off of her. She swallow once, wishing her mouth wasn't so dry, before reaching up to push the straps of her gown off of her shoulders. The silk whispered to the ground just as Mark looked up at her. His cheeks flushed crimson as he quickly turned away.

"What are you doing?" he asked gruffly, swinging his legs out of the bed so his back was to her.

"I…" Meredith stammered, hastily grabbing her robe and pulling it up over her exposed breasts. "I was getting into bed."

"Like that?" he asked through gritted teeth, trying to keep his tone even and his faculties, and other things, in check.

"I'm sorry," she muttered, trying to keep the tears out of her eyes. "I thought you wanted…"

"You thought I wanted to sleep with you?" He turned back on her, his eyes hard against hers.

Meredith's head suddenly felt so heavy as hot tears pricked at her eyes. "I thought… our wedding night… I'm so sorry." She stumbled over her words as tears began to fall. Mark's harsh gaze softened as he realized her confusion. He moved towards her, trying very hard not to look at the outline of her curves that the robe clutched to her chest left visible, the firelight dancing over her pale skin and kissing it golden. Placing his hand underneath her chin, he gently wiped the tears away with his thumbs.

"I never want you to feel that you have to sleep with me out of obligation. Wedding night be damned. If I am ever to share your bed, it will be because you want me to."

"But I have ruined everything," Meredith cried, another wave of tears coursing from her eyes.

"My dear, why?" he asked, confusion clouding his face.

"I was supposed to be yours and only yours tonight. I was supposed to be pure for you. Instead, I wear this white gown to bed while carrying another man's child. You should shame me, Mark. You should cast me out like a whore. And yet here you are, not even taking what is rightfully yours."

"Meredith, you are not something to be claimed. And I don't give a damn about your white gown. You have your past and I have mine and they will follow us into our present. But we can only live right now, together. Meredith, you may be my wife now, but you are first and foremost my friend. I have already told you that I will love you and your child to the best of my ability. Don't doubt me now, after we've already made the plunge." His face lightened as he smiled. "I mean, dear God, I've already gotten a job to support you and the little tyke. I can't go back now."

Meredith laughed through her tears, sniffling slightly.

"Now, to save us both any further embarrassment, hand me your robe." She looked at him in shock. He chuckled slightly. "Madame, I just told you I am not going to sleep with you. I'm hardly going to leave you without any clothes. Let me hold up your robe for you while you get your nightgown in place. I will even close my eyes."

He did as he said he would and she quickly replaced her nightgown. Walking into his still outstretched arms, she wrapped her arms around him, causing him to open his eyes in shock.

"Thank you, Mark," she whispered against his chest.

Smiling down at her, he pressed a kiss to the top of her head. "Let's get some sleep," he whispered.

They both took up their places in the large bed, a veritable summit of blankets and pillows between them. Mark blew out the candles and they were plunged into relative darkness, only relieved by the dying embers in the fireplace.

"Mark," Meredith started, looking up at the canopy above her head.

"Hmm," he groaned sleepily.

She hesitated for a moment, not quite believing that she was about to ask this question. But he had seen her naked, even if it had only been for a moment. She supposed that there could be no secrets between them now.

"Do I disgust you? Not me, per se, but the fact that I slept with Derek?"

"Of course not. Why would you ask such a thing?"

"I guess, I just want to know…" she trialed off.

"What?"

"Would you want to sleep with me? Even knowing about Derek and I?"

He rubbed a hand over his face, not quite sure what to think of the woman who lay beside him. He couldn't help but think that someday, maybe not soon, but someday, he might be able to love her, both with his body and with his heart.

"If you ever invite me into your bed, Mrs. Sloan, I will gladly accept." He glanced over at her slyly. "Especially after that little show you just gave me."

Meredith was giggling so hard, she forgot to be scandalized. Picking up one of the many pillows between them, she playfully hit him on the head with it. He snatched it away and threw it across the room, his fingers grazing over her wrist as he did.

"Now that that sufficiently awkward question has been answered, shall we go to sleep?"

"Yes, please," Meredith said through a yawn. Shimmying down under the covers, she let out a contented sigh. "Good night, Mr. Sloan."

Mark glanced over at her peaceful face as sleep overtook her. "Good night, Mrs. Sloan."

* * *

"What in God's name do you think you were doing?" William yelled, bearing down on Derek. He sat on one of the couches in William's study, pressing a wet cloth to his swelling eye. He hunched under William's furious gaze. "Getting into a fight with Mark during his wedding reception? You'll be the joke of the city."

"I had too much to drink, Father. I apologize," Derek muttered in explanation.

"That was more than a fight caused by intoxication. You never hit Mark unless you have a really good reason to do so."

Derek just sat there in brooding silence.

"Is this about that Grey girl? Are you jealous?"

"Of course not!" Derek exclaimed.

"Because you have been far too close with her ever since she arrived here. Don't think that I haven't seen how you look at her, or how she is the first person you talk to when you arrive at parties. And now that Mark has her, you're jealous. You've always been jealous of the things Mark got that you couldn't have."

"That is ridiculous!" Derek shouted, pulling the cloth away so he could glare at his father with both eyes.

"Derek, I have taught you better than this. You went to Harvard, for Christ sake! You're not a dumb boy. But I swear to God, if you let some school-boy fancy for this now married woman destroy everything that I have built for you, you will rue the day you ever set eyes on Meredith Sloan. I am a very powerful man, Derek, and I can make your life a living hell."

Derek just sank back into resigned silence.

"Now, I've let you skulk around this city like a fop and spend my money for long enough. You are going to come to work with me on Monday, you are going to sit down at a desk, you are going to do whatever task I give you, and you are going to like it. Am I clear?"

"As crystal," Derek replied cheekily.

"Good. Now go clean yourself up. You smell like bad scotch."

* * *

Meredith awoke to the sun streaming in on her face and found herself more comfortable and content than she had been in weeks.

Rubbing the sleep from her eyes, she was surprised to find herself pressed to Mark, her head resting on his chest. The pillows and blankets that had been between them at the start of the night were strewn on the floor and Mark's arm had found its way around her waist. He murmured in his sleep before shifting, pulling Meredith closer to her. She tensed, trying to figure out how she could get up without waking him. She carefully lifted his arm and started to move it away from her, but he awoke with a start. Seeing their arrangement, he quickly snatched his arm away, avoiding her eyes.

"Sorry," he muttered, his face coloring in embarrassment.

"It's alright. It was quite comfortable, actually," she replied with a smile.

"I'm glad I was a sufficient pillow for you. Even though, it seems that the circulation in my arm was sacrificed for your comfort."

"I apologize. Even though, that wouldn't have been a problem if you hadn't had your arm around my waist."

"Yes, well," he stammered, "it seems that even in my sleep, I am drawn to beautiful women."

Meredith just shoved his shoulder in response. Before she could pull away, Mark grabbed her hand, pressing a kiss to her palm.

"Our train for New Orleans leaves in two hours," Mark said as he slipped out of bed. "I'm going to ring for some breakfast, and then we shall depart." With one last smile, he left the room. Meredith fell back on the pillows, a slight smile toying at her lips, as she thought that just maybe, married life wasn't going to be that bad.


End file.
